i really missed alot of stuffs, things have been changing ard me. everything seem so difficult and i cant seem to catch up with any of the changes. i wonder does the prob lies with me or the others. i really dun like it, just seriously dun like it.
somehow i feel distanced frm tkd, dun really feel i belonged there anymore. just dun have the usual feeling of looking forwards training. i missed the hardcore training i used to have. i missed the extra sets i have been doing. i missed the rubber tubes training. i missed the sun trainings. i missed sweating and training hard like a dog. i missed training hard for IVP and when i won my first gold medal. i missed the celebration after each competition when i won my gold medal. i also missed the sunday 'family outing'. oh btw i gt a free upgrade from brown to black tip (Y) sir robin tyvm. pattern training really is tiring shit de lor!
once i hit 18, i starting partying and drinking. i really missed those days. partying was fun, totally exhausting. oh and i partied wif my sis & cousin. FAMILY BONDING (Y) i've got a cool family! drinking was hell crazy, destroying our livers. mambo on wed night and nxt day still went for attachment was totally insane.
since graduation, everyone have been busy with their own life. guys enlisted for army while gals are either busy studying for uni/poly or enter the workforce. each of them are busy with their own stuffs and slowly we are drifting apart. DUN LIKE IT.
only 2 things tat been good since graduation is weekee my long lost bro is back other thing is to enter RWS. working sux due to MALAYSIAN company _l_ fucked up company seriously. but peeps there r way hell crazy (Y) fun pple to work with. bunch of frens to be with.
things have been going bad, worse, worst since the break up. it really caught me off guard and it really brought me nearly to the state of depression. when finally things are going better, it came crashing down again. finally LIKE FINALLY somehow somewhat when everything is coming to an end, it came crashing down again. i really felt very stressed & i felt is me against the whole world. u said i dun understand ur feelings, but i do understand n u r the one tat doesnt understand my feeling. my frens said this and ur frens said tat so who is right? i am not trying to say ur frens r wrong but i somehow feel that they only think of u but not for us. sigh. the feeling of against the whole world really sucks cox there is no one for me to turn to. the stuffs i cant bear to tell u cox i didnt wan to stress or hurt u. is a double stress for me, my dear.
if time can be rewind... i still wan to train hard for my gold. i wan to train just like the others, go for sun trainings then go for 'family outing' tat was really my happy poly days.
i would nvr ever wan a break up cause it was such a stupid decision. my life revolves around u cox u were the best damn thing tat happen to me.
dear, give me a chance to be with you till we get old. i really wan to hold ur hands till end of the world.
