for some obvious reason i havent been myself for the past week. trying hard to act normal but still it is a failure. perhaps my normal self is too noisy and crappy.
i juz wan to be alone. think thru stuffs. i juz wan to hole up myself. nua at home. BUT I CANT. i gotta work & train for my competition. i haf to face my colleagues n frens. i tried my best to be normal but i cant. i juz cant. revealing the weakest side to everyone.
asked urself haf u really tried ur best to gain back my trust? nope. disappointment is the only thing i get.
i am tired. really. i dun wan fight or argue anymore. i really dunno wad r u thinking. can u pls think before u act?
all i wan now is juz to be alone and withdraw myself from everyone. i dun wan to face anyone right now. i dun wan to act anymore.
okay! after 3 yrs in poly and finally say byebye. 3 yrs juz seem to
pass so fast! gonna miss my frens so much!
L.O.Jz & AHHHS!
life will be meaningless wifout this 2 groups.
alright time for pics! dun complain this is a boring blog wifout pics.
cousin
parents
celebrate lor!
cheers to graduation!
i juz lost it for tat moment when i actually teared. i wonder if my dad sees it, i hope he doesnt..
juz less than 5 days we quarrel like 3 times? i am tired of it.. mentally n emotionally drained. i really dunno wad can i do to stop this cycle from repeating n repeating.
i swear i really tried my v best n put in my utmost 201% effort in us but it seems to be getting worst as days go by.
u nvr believe how much & how deep i loved u.
u nvr believe anything that i says.
u nvr trust me.
u nvr see the effort i put in becox to u think is a must.
u r the only & only reason tat can affects my mood yet till now u still dunno abt iti am really tired.. i need a break..
okay sat was totally embarrassing cox me & my sis was totally so bhb to camwhore in the public in front of so many strangers~ pls refer to my fb or my sis fb. jitao use the microphone right in front of the room, take balloons la, take flower la, whole bouquet la.. (ALL THE IDEAS R FRM MY SIS) anyway sat is my uncle & aunt 20th wedding anniversary.
anyway have been training on tues & fri for the preparation for nationals. haf to keep in my mind tat my target is another 21-0. allen the sparring contract is still on.
today is another BLACK monday. oh gosh~ 50 indians at one shot. TMD~ -faints- burst 5 blood vessels. stand the whole day :( so damn tiring. my nxt off day is fri!
anyway i think i owe alot of pple meet ups.
1) newbies bunch of NS boys. oh well i am joining them soon but 3 of them is gg to ROD soon~ still havent celebrate 3 bdays yet
2) J.P.G
3) chil jang outing although i dun belong to their pattern team
4) L.O.Jz drinking session
i am brokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee T_T looking forward to payday.. is like only 1week of may n i am broke! moolah~ i need tonnes tonnes tonnes of moolah!!!
seriously praying hard on my TP. let me pass plssss!
went training as usual due to preparation for nationals. after tat went to supper at railmail wif L.O.Jz after tat went bowling! it has seriously been quite a while when i last bowled.
sometimes having some seniors who understand u tat well is great. even no solutions r being offered, at least u know that they are there for u. they know ur probs n know tat u r under some lots of invisible stress. they r there to chat wif u and console u. thanx mdm xy! =D
i wish i wish n i wish i am not an emotional person so that my mood wont affect my work performance tat much.
