it has been quite a while since i ever felt this emotion - anger. for the past three mths, i either had been fking emo sad shit or some stoner.
i not angry abt u giving false hope nor being fickle minded. jus tat u still sees me as some normal guy out there. a player, playboy, jerk, bastard or wadever, i am pissed abt tat. yes no doubt i dumped and hurt u so does tat qualifies me to be the normal guy out there?
can u pls tell me any one guy out there who actually dumped his gf n cry like a fking loser? (cried in front of his mum, sis n friends or alone outside) not only cried but emo-ed for whole period of time. cant eat, slp n had to drink himself to slp EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? if u do pls intro to me, i think i need a good buddy.
i am pissed becox this few mths wad i did seem nth to u at all. sincerity is wad u always looked at, but u dun see any? i WILLINGLY changed so much becox of u, to be a better guy/bf/son, for ur sake my sake our sake.
so right now i am juz any guy out there who sees any pretty gal and try means n ways to hook up with them? juz like in the club where guys grindings gals or flirt ard wif gals even being attached, or even worse, go overseas and have FLINGS. is tat wad u really see in me? i can only see pls stereotype every single guys out there. there will always be tat 1% who doesnt do tat. even u r joking abt my thai trip, muz u say i will have flings? 1) tat is a very big insult to my character 2) i tot u trusted me alot, so it is all empty talk? 3) i nvr ever betrayed u tat includes grinding gal in a club 4) u nvr believed i loved u so much and only wanted u 5) i am disappointed in u to say tat kind of things.
wad is fair? nth is fair in the world. if u wan victory, u gonna fight for it. love is selfish and human nature is selfish too. tat is why i am fighting so hard for u. reputation reputation reputation, u said a gal reputation is everything but a guy reputation is nth. so wad if a guy is labeled as a flirt or a playboy, it is normal. hello wtf is tat suppose to mean? why doesnt a guy needs his reputation? everyone says my first impression give them a playboy, clubber look, oh well i always will give them a wtf look but i juz heck them becox they dunno me. pple who knows me wont say i am a fking playboy or a clubber. i mind ALOT abt wad pple says abt me, who doesnt? i may appear i dun give a shit but i do. ESP to those pple who r close to me n knows me well. i wont be bothered abt those passer-bys cox they r juz some passer-bys in our lives. wad they says only reflects what they THINK of you, it is juz a opinion not a fact. pple says things abt how they think of u based on the APPEARANCE of the subject but they doesnt know the ACTUAL FACTS, so why bother abt them?
after winning my 5th gold, i dun feel happy at all. LIKE SERIOUSLY. others cry out loud, lie on the arena, run ard the arena, hug their coaches but i juz walk out NORMALLY. partly is becox i underperformed n didnt reach my own expectation. but obviously it is u. i was thinking abt my choice 3 yrs ago when i chose tkd over u, did i make the right choice? last time i used to think it is, but now i will say it is not. if to choose again, i will choose both n juggle both. so wad if i won so many golds when u arent there for me anymore? i made a bad choice, so r u gg to follow my footsteps? i regret. seriously.
to be with u, i sacrificed alot of things willingly. but as for u, u seemed so unwillingly. becox i loved u and i dun mind giving up here n there. i juz wan to be with u. u really think i am not a playful guy? dun wan stay out late nights? dun wan party? dun wan hang out wif friends? i choose not to and i dun mind AT ALL becox i juz wan to be wif you. when tgt wif u, u r my forever number one. am i to u?
tml when u met her i dun expect much. or shld i say 0% tat she agrees to u coming back to me. as ur best friend, she doesnt wan clear up my mess for the THIRD time. she doesnt wan to see u get caught in btw of us again. she doesnt wan to see u crying or to be sad anymore. she wans u to have the best treatment n happiness. i admit i did a super horrible job and i dun take any effort to get to know her as well. is my bad.
i used to think love is jus a 2 person stuffs. but i was totally wrong. till now i realised. i realised lots and lots of things during this period. it is too late like u said. yes i know. tat is why i changed and put in so much effort, i only hope my sincerity will simply touched ur heart again.
love is so simple but yet simple things r so difficult to be achieved. love is still a myth afterall.
i am pissed but my heart is drowned with tears n disappointment
