looks like today is the final straw after u told me u were tgt wif him. yeap i guess tats de ending. dun wan to know whether is real or anot cox it only hurts when i get to know more. be happy, i know u will =) take lots n lots of care. i wish u all de best.
i really wan to thank you for teaching me lots of stuffs. thank you for loving me so deeply. thank you for loving my family as well. thank you for being so tolerate wif me. thank you for being ever such sweet. thank you for loving me n being wif me for 2 times.
so sry for hurting u. sry for letting u go, not once but twice. sry for not trusting u. sry for being a jerk & an asshole. sry for not being live up to ur expectations. sry for making empty promises. sry for not being there when u need me. esp sry to took so long to realise i loved u tat deeply n to settle down.
i learn the meaning of love at the cost of losing u. i wonder does tat worth it? if really had to make a decision, i wont choose no but it is unfair to u. cox u wont be happy wif me.
guess letting go is a process of growing up. i am so not strong enuff to do tat but i haf to, i gt no choice. these 2 mths i tried my v best, but maybe still not good enuff. is juz like sparring, i let u go twice. i lost my 1st n 2nd round. when 3rd round i suddenly woke up n fighting hard to win back some points to make it a draw. into the sudden death match when i couldnt score any points even though u nearly gave in 3 times. n u suddenly decide to cut contact for a mth but is juz been 5 days. is painful for me esp seeing u going out wif him n finally getting tgt wif him. after sudden death without any points, judges (who is u) decide tat i lost the match. i put on my everything on the line but like u said, it has been too late.
yea too late i guess. sometimes i hate myself for not being sensible n mature enuff, not being able to look at things in ur perspective. after realising so much, falling so deep, thought so much, in the end i haf to give up. so reluctant. jus so reluctant. got to blame myself for everything i guess.
kiddish me, is time to grow up.
best wishes.
regret that i took so long to realise everything.
