Mr Fussy

my silly

2011-11-14T01:19:00.000+08:00

my silly, i wont leave u like i promised.

bkk trip

2011-11-07T20:08:00.000+08:00

some drink that prevent hangover. 7-11 shld import this man!

summing up my BKK trip. I AM A FUCKING CARROT -_- is okay first time go overseas alone wif a fren. 2 noobs~ IS OKAY! gain experience lo tats wad my mum said.

basically i shop like a faggot, went to floating market (kanna tok till cui) then everynight drink drank drunk.

21st bday

2011-09-29T01:29:00.003+08:00

hello people! i'm finally updating my blog! FOR MY BIG BIG 21st bday! i am thankful of my buddy becox of him is celebrating his bday on a yacht! FIRST time going on a yacht but nth much de lah. guess is kind of awkward cause i only know aaron n him. it is a good experience though but is kind of shaky n most of the people is kind of having sea sick.

END OF YACHT

START OF CHALET

esp thanks to this 2 lovely ladies: Mum n Sis

biggest ang bao i ever received

cousins

my family

BMT mates

RWS

Wushu

Sea Soldiers

SPTKDC + SP mates

SPTKDC

my pretty ladies. ONE IS MISSING THOUGH!

AHHHS. i miss chinaboy :(

my handsome boyfriends

my fav present. tommy hilfiger watch.

finally turn 21! i am an adult now! BUT I STILL HAVE SUCH A KIDDISH FACE :( forever 18 lor! hehehe. really thankful for everyone's attendance though almost half of the invites didnt make it :( but still really happy for those pple who came down.

First time received so many presents! OMG LAH! happys! normally only receive frm my gf but oh well is my BIG BIG 21st after all and i am very very very happy to receive sooooooooooo many presents! ng yuzhe ish a welly belly harpi boys for the night! =D

esp thanks to my mum who do the hunting for chalet for me and my sis for choosing all my presents and being my photographer. can i forever be the little spoilt brat of ng family pls!!! because i am seriously enjoying the life of a xiao shao ye.

miss angelia tan! i am so glad that u did come for my 21st though i didnt went for yours. i always remember you will be the first one who call me whenever i had prob with my ex. not once twice but everytime. thanks old fren!

my dearest AHHS, though u ladies r so damn late! but i am still very happy to see all of u ladies.

my most beloved goh weeteck n kelvin, brother n buddy for life :)

joanna aka shuang-e, how can i ever forget u! always in my heart! we still have 2 yrs left, lets see how will it go :)

sorry for my poor hospitality! if the buffet food sucks i am sry too! lastly sry for having prob choosing my bday present! i know u all did have a hard time thinking of wad to give me becox i literally have everything already... BUT STILL LOVE YOUR PRESENTSSSSS!

my life would have been so perfect if you were still here with me. maybe nothing is perfect so i aint gg to have my perfect life. no matter choices have been made and life goes on. happy belated bday to u, xzt. i dunno how have u been but i dun wish to know too. i think u shld be happier and it hurts to know that cause i am no longer the guy to bring u happiness anymore. i dunno if i got over you cause i dunno wads the definition of getting over. i only know i sometimes still miss u and maybe i still love you. this 刻苦铭心的爱 will forever be remembered by me and the only thing i could do now is to hide u in the deepest corner of my heart.

when will my life be perfect?

幸福就好

2011-08-04T20:11:00.011+08:00

hoho first time using bb to blog. staring at the sea again -_- sian max! luckily i koped someone's itouch to watch city hunter. the actress is so damn cute with some superb big eyes awwwww!

heard some news abt her. she is doing well and he is treating her very well. tats good i suppose :) be happy cause you got the most beautiful smile i ever seen.

at this point of time dun tell me she loves me

張惠妹-解脫

2011-08-03T00:31:00.001+08:00

爱是不夜城
回忆像星辰
热泪越沸腾
我越感觉有点冷
变了心的人
越想越伤人
枯坐到清晨
阳光替房间开了灯
想
若结局一样
又何苦再想
伤
若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤
解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦
想
像结局一样
又何苦再想
伤
若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤
心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头
不要爱我的人再担心我
解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

july

2011-07-31T21:50:00.003+08:00

is the last day of july!!! just another mth and will be my bday already! 21st eh! A BIG BIG PARTY? i dunno but i hope everything will go well! I HOPE IT WILL BE A VERY HAVOC MONTH FOR ME? :D and i seriously think soooooo!! w00ts good luck to my liver. 202% cfm toh like a dead corpse and puke like no tml. people who i invite pls turn up alright!! i still havent create the guest list though =x but chalet is booked! 3 sep!!

alright how many celebrations will i have so far?

1) 2sep yatch party wif buddy kelvin? after tat butter?
2) 3sep my bday chalet
3) butter fac wif sea soldiers/dragons
4) family dinner?
5) ahhs? a dinner will do! pls dun ask me to drink le
6) LOJz CFM WILL DRINK I KNOW! :D
7) RWS pple? i hope u all didnt forget abt me :(
8) joanna chin! i expect u to ask me out!
9) 20aug early celebration + last dinner wif zhiyu before he flying off to canada again

anybody wans to celebrate wif moi??? :) :) :) :) :)

though we have broke up for 2 mths? but it seems like 2 yrs. time is so slowwwwww when one is feeling so down :( i still think of you. hmmm but is a different kind of feeling compared to last time. i still feel pain but is different kind of pain, i dunno how to explain tat feeling. it seems that u have changed and i wonder if is good news for me cause the person i loved doesnt exist anymore. i love the old you. i miss the old you.

would anybody define move on for me? cox i seriously gt no idea.

i am in loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee with jay's songs recently. need dig out rest of his old album, only gt 2 of his latest songs in my itouch.

就讓回憶永遠停在那裡
need to put a restraining order on the lovebug

not over you

2011-07-24T20:30:00.006+08:00

unfollowed you n block u frm twitter. didnt wan see any updates frm u cox it jus hurts so much when u moved on so fast and u r with tat guy? i duno if is karma or wad? maybe we r just not meant to be. it has been a mth plus and ur fb profile pic is already wif tat guy. is great to see ur life has been so good, maybe we shldnt have dragged so long after all.

so wad he has that i dun have? maturity i guess and the huge amt of freedom he gave u. i still dun wish to see that u r a materialistic gal tat everyone says. no matter wad they say i just ignore becox to me u r not.

sign. so much for loving you. everyone knew that i have suffered such a super huge fall. my mum is so worried over me n she cried last night. she tot i went clubbing so freq to find gals in club. of cox tats nt my intention, u shld know i dun hook gals up in clubs.

hais. i guess i am still not over you. i wish i can jus delete the memories away n move on just like you. die hard trying but i cant.

再给我两分钟让我把记忆结成冰

updates

2011-07-09T21:09:00.004+08:00

love my bf ttm :)

hello whats up everybody!! had been partying wif my sis 3 sat in a rows! butterfac for the win! anyway i gt a bb n i am loving it! 2792588 is my bb pin! swee hor? all numbers!

apart frm partying......... i also did some house maintenance!

end of sticky post. over you but i still love and miss u.

3SG passing out parade

2011-07-02T14:16:00.005+08:00

I FINALLY PASSED OUT AS A 3RD SGT! =D

weeteck

andy

yuen tuck

raphael

ryan frm bmt to scs to MP to cat term :)

chee cheng (sea soldier!)

hayden

my family who is always there for me

without you the parade seems meaningless

Happiness

2011-06-19T15:33:00.005+08:00

speaking of happiness, many people have different perspective. some want to be rich, some want to be famous, all i want is to be some with i love and lead a simple life. oh gosh and i really missed you so much. i want to apologise for my previous entry for being so rude. i really couldnt think straight when i get too emotional and angsty. that applies to when i am driving too, 180 at the top speed and around 120-140 at PIE? my sis is so going to kill me when she see this entry but it doesnt matters. suddenly i just want to meet up with you and have a chat, to find out how are you doing but i dun think that is possible. firstly, you might be pissed with the entry and i think your friend would be too. secondly, you will be busy with lots of stuffs cause u finally have the freedom you longed for. lastly, i dun think i can control my emotions. you are the one completes my life and best thing that ever happen to me.

it doesnt matters anymore who you choice and what the reasons are. you make the choice based on what is the best for you. if you think you are happier with this way then go for it because all i just want is you to be happy. when we are together, i would do whatever i can just to see you smile. your smile is worth everything i work and fight so hard for. even now we are not together anymore, you should even smile more because by right you should be even happier. you really are utterly gorgeous when you smile. please be happy will u? i really want you to be happy.

yesterday meet up with my buddy, kelvin again! been seeing him every weekend for 2 months straight! shop abit and catch green lantern. the actress is superb hot and she got the sexy mole ( quoted fro kelvin). we went butter next and guess what? i went to club with my sis again for the third time (Y) UPS OR WAD? i have got a superb ups sis!

walked past merlion park. memories. our first night outing after your brother's band concert. last year birthday when we cried together. love and hate that place so much. starting to miss you so badly again.

we got the VIP stamp all thanks to hayden and chill around with him for awhile before heading back to my sis n kelvin. tired max. i think i should lay off powerhouse for awhile, it is getting bored! butter will be the next better choice!

i still miss you dearly and badly. i love you dearest xzt.

Fate

2011-06-18T16:17:00.002+08:00

this is the last visit to your house cause i had to bring your stuffs over. i chosen this timing cause i thought u were outside and till now i am still not ready to see you. unexpectly when i just finish parking my car, his car with you inside just park directly in front of mine. everything is just so dramatic and i thought it will only happen in Taiwanese idol dramas. Fate or wad? but at least now i know that is all over and being with you is a STRAIGHT NO thing.

Fate brought us together after 4 yrs of separation due to the different choice of sec sch. we were together for 1 yr plus and we broke up. once i saw you at marina sq with ur so-called bf at that time. Fate has dropped the hint that i failed to picked up. we patched after a yr and we broke up again. during the 6 mths when we broke up, Fate has dropped another bigger hint but i again failed to pick up. we patch again and stick for another year before we finally ended like this.

i used to thought that we will be have a happy ending but well it went entirely the opposite when i expected 2 yrs ago when we patched for the first time. today Fate has let me see the truth, that you are not the one OBVIOUSLY.

many people asked me not to pack your stuffs for you because you dun deserve that kind of treatment but i refused to believe them. no matter wad i still will pack the stuffs and send to your house personally. even though the truth hurts so badly but at least i learn something.

i fucking swear that YOU are my first setback of my life. Fate has given me such a good life and till recently i then realised. since young i got everything and what i wanted. basically i am a fucking spoilt prince in the family. the friends that i have is awesomely great - my old pri sch friend; angelia tan, alicia, sec sch wushu brothers, AHHHs family in poly, L.O.Jz in SPTKD, RWS colleagues, my army friends. they are just one hell of an awesome bunch of people cause they can tolerate my nonsensical and weird temper. They are always there for me. Some initiate to call me immediately when i was super down. Some will ask me out for one hell of drinking. Most importantly when i need them, they will be there.

for the past 4 years, the ONLY thing that can affect my mood is only YOU YOU and still YOU. when i fucking screwed up my O lvl, i was sad and disappointed but i get over it quite soon when i enter poly. when i fucking kept on losing in TKD tournaments, i nearly gave up but it wasnt really that sad. when my GPA is so fucked up that i cant get into local uni, i just laugh it off. the only thing that can me cry like some wussy, becoming an emo fuck and got into a depression is you.

i always haven been holding on to those naive promises you said but i never once believed them, cause i know it isnt easy. but i really fallen so madly & deeply in love with you. you used to scold me why couldnt have just a little faith. now i fucking tell you why, take a mirror and take a look at yourself. how much have you changed? you should know yourself better than me. environment really plays a very big part and this is why 10yrs romance with a happy ending is not fucking easy shit.

you messed up my head and broken my heart, looks like this is the karma i get and i have repaid the debt i owed you. i should say a very big thank you to Fate instead, for letting me see through you and kill any single hope left in me.

i always believe anybody can make a choice. there is no such thing that i am left with no choice. i make the choice to believe you and now i am the big silly fool. you always said that you had no choice is because you did not want to make that choice. you tell me you were stressed up between your mum and me. but when i see you today, i know that is entirely bullshit. you fucking lied to me that you love me, you missed me. fuck it, you are just too used to being with me. another thing about you, you just love being the good person and you mind your face and reputation just too much.

but is alright, i am totally cool with it. we are at different phase of life, is the only right that you choose someone who is better than me. not many people will want a wallet from a The Wallet Shop when you can have one from LV or gucci?

i pronounced my heart is dead. Love is still a myth.

you really cut my heart open and tore into pieces.

single again

2011-06-14T13:11:00.001+08:00

4 wk had passed! going back to PLC to become 3rd SGT liao lor! call me sgt ng! wahahaha! looking forward to meet my SCS mates. navy is a absolute awesome experience for me. we r the SCT = See Cannot Touch, compared to MP, Shag Cannot Think. Dun need do sai kang one, man do! Final dinner got buffet somemore! since when SAF got buffet de? but we have =D plates of curry chicken wings plus free refill of syrup drinks at our table :) i am so going to miss my SCT life in navy. however after our POP we have to go back changi for On Job Training (OJT), time to be tekan like some dogs :( seems tat the sgts there seems to be in love wif me and they wan to pull me back to be an instructor. pro - 5 days able to book out on weekends. cons - extras are like free only! and fucking far frm my house! if posted to platoon and HOPEFULLY to tuas. pro - slack like some fuck. con - 8 days 7 nights spent in camp. if i am an instructor, good luck to those man :) -EVIL LAUGH-

anyway i am back to single AGAIN and yeap looks like once and for all thing. 3.5ys tgt, we broke and patch 3 times. looks like fate like to play ard with us and this time i guess is really over. i love u, i always do. maybe i am jus not good at expressing myself? yes i am not matured and i grew up in a totally well protected environment. i am a spoilt brat prince. maybe is jus tat our family background is totally opp of each other. sigh. i love u i love u i love u and i am going to lose u once and for all. many pple find tat the reason u gave is utter bullshit but i chose to believe. i always believed whatever u said. is one against the world AGAIN. after some thinking through, no matter wad the reason is, it doesnt matter anymore cox is really over. our r/s had ended with a fullstop.

i love u mum & sis. pls dun wry abt me. i am alright.

sis, i will be strong.

mum, i am growing up, dun wry abt me! since young u have protected me too well and now is time for me to suffer some falls and learn to get back on my feet.

is it a crime to be in a fortunate and blissful environment? is okay i take my own sweet time to get more mature and more stronger!

and fuck! today is my first traffic 'accident'. i didnt step on my brake when i put my car to neutral and my car bumped into a police car infront. I WAS FUCKING SCARED N NERVOUS cox i didnt put my P plate! luckily nth happen! -cold sweat-

anyway i hope my laopa aka shifu will get over soon yeap. like father like son. both our r/s ended but ur son who is me is working hard to get over! so u shld too!!!

u dun believe i would settle down right? ha is okay. i shall get on wif my life whereby i missed out so much. i will be going back to my poly life when is all happening n chaotic. drink drank drunk party all night!

esp thanks to my bmt buddy (kelvin), navy bunk mates and esp my boss (hayden) who are there for me. thanks for the support and encouragement. esp my boss who is an insomnia cb, all thanks to ur insomnia i get to chat to ya all night when everyone is slping.

time to get back to reality, pack up emotions and get ready to move on.

is hard to let go but i will.

u left my heart bleeding

thor

2011-05-09T14:04:00.005+08:00

thor is awesome but Natalie Portman is even more awesome! Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of Caribbean is offically taken over by Natalie Portman!

some updates.. i left only 1 week at MPTS. lets hope i dun get to be guard com if not i seriously will become a retard and waste 1.5yrs of my life? oh btw nxt sat i will be going for my first wedding though and is a wedding lunch. mr chen zhiyu aka the runaway soldier is finally back frm canada. newbies is finally back tgt again for like a few mths before going back to his studies again. days in sec sch days r back again!

i miss my BMT mates :( this fri we finally get to meet again at the expense of LOJz. so sry abt it! but nxt fri is LOJz gathering!

argh is been awhile since i ever meet RWS colleagues too.. kx, jos, bimbo bday.. i need lots of off!!

not to mention my dajie aka ai jia and kah tai before he enlist!

time time time i need lots of timeeeee!

MP

2011-04-17T16:08:00.002+08:00

hello peeps! damn it! so long nvr update liaooooo. BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSYYYYYY TO THE MAX!!! gosh and i dun think i still have anymore readers :(

basic course of spec is finally over. post to MP. DAMN FUCKING HAPPY! 5weeks have passed in MP, life has been... relac but kind of strict. everyday having lectures :) not really very xiong compared to chong sua. tats like duh! MOST IMPTLY I GOT GOH WEE TECK TO ACCOMPANY MEEEEE SOOOO HAPPY LAH! is just like going back to poly. time in MP certainly much more faster compared to BMT or SCS.

and my maid went back to her ctry! :( gosh! i need to do sooooo much housework. actually okay la only mop floor and wash my own clothes. BUT STILL! lazy la~ in army do smlj area cleaning and back at home still have to do cleaning again! SIAN :( mopping my house is seriously no joke! WHY MY HOUSE SO BIG!!! IS TIRINGGGG~ finally my maid is coming back! thurs thurs!

my list of meet ups is just getting longer longer longer and longer~ damn it! hope i get posted to some 8-5 unit! pls pls! need pray xtra hard!

BSLC

2011-03-10T11:26:00.003+08:00

finally BSLC aka basic foundation of SCS is finally over! my posting? MP! huat ah! sibei happy~ hehehe 1.5yrs of slacking life to go man! hope i get plain clothes MP, get to keep my hair! 8-5! uti shiokness~ (Y)

nxt wed book in! plenty of outings i guess! and my pay took forever to bank in man~ FINALLY FINALLY I GET TO SPEND SOMEEEE $$$$$

decided to have a run in the light rain since the pain in my ass (abrasion) is so much better but is still quite gao wei. my maid say eh u siao ah juz march 28km still go run. oh well i am in a shitty mood. soak myself in the bath tub for some time, it has been a while since i had a long bath. had some biscuit and a snapple. had some quiet time for myself. thinking thru things..

initially wanted to have a beer but i am having an empty stomach so.. change to a healthy drink instead. needs a drink badly :(

i tried. is all weird right now. dun like the stuffs u post. i dun feel good at all.

a materialistic world

2011-03-06T00:45:00.003+08:00

today is my first visit to LV. all no price tags at all, wad i heard is true though. cool shit. seen many taitais walking here n there, juz choosing n choosing n choosing. i wonder their husband is a human ATM or print money one? sigh. i wish my parents are the richest couple in sg too! right now i could be driving a lambo liao! DREAM ON LOR! i am still contented with wad i have right now :)

last night went to training. ccb! ahfat they all keep laughing at me :( say i look like a lama! WTF! angry :( they say i am aht-to-be 7 yrs down to road jiu 2nd aht le :( mdm didnt make it! :( miss her so much! i miss my grp of seniors~ as usual head down for supper. start toking abt NS stuffs since i am a 4mth soldier (1.5yrs to ORD) one of my senior is a commando so listen to his story lor. so kua zhang! dunno real anot sia~ but one thing for real is tat the strong bond we guys had. i missed my BMT mates, tats why today despite being so tired i still went ahead to meet them. but 3 fuckers didnt make it. till now i still prefer my BMT mates compared to SES peeps. sigh~ oh then he start toking abt his career as a banker. he said he is a 'high class prostitute' and he shared his experience. oh well i am shocked but well i finally get a glimpse of the ugly world.

yes in this world the rich is fucking rich. an example: some guy had 20billion euro rotting in his bank. every yr the bank pay him 3% interest which is 600m? 1 yr, 365days buy 1 ferrari also gt remaining money lah! KNN WHY GT SUCH RICH PPLE DE! but well believe anot is still up to own individual.

main point everyone wans to be rich, WHO DOESNT? who doesnt wan to live in a big house, having private jet plane & yacht, branded from top to bottom? everyone does, of cox. but lets be realistic as not everyone is born rich. ONE HAVE TO LIVE WITHIN UR OWN LIMIT. money is not easy to earn but of cox there is always an easy way out. an easy way out defintely has its own shortcoming. frm the examples he give is pride, principle and dignity.

example for a female banker, some rich fucker is willing to throw 10M to u on the condition of slping wif him, will u? lets say ur commission is 10%, u get 1M by slping wif him. will u?

example for a male banker, some rich gay fag is willing to throw 10M to u on the condition of poking ur arse, will u? lets say ur commission is 10%, u get 1M by letting him poke. will u?

think of it... 1M leh. close ur eyes 30mins like a dead fish and u get 1M. easy money right? but where is ur pride, principle and ur dignity? some may say how much does those worth? cash is king.

who doesnt wan to be rich? who doesnt wan to get envy eyesight frm pple? everyone does. but if everyone is rich, who r those poor ones? same principle applies in a competition. in a competition, there is always a winner and loser. however who wans to lose? everyone wans to be a winner! there is always a loser. this is reality. so wad if u r the loser? learn frm the mistake tat cause ur failure and stand up. gain frm exp and sooner i believe u will be the winner.

i despise pple who r materialistic and this materialistic world. their attitude and their mindset disgust me. however i seem to be one of those materialistic person, am i despising myself? i wan to drive sports car! i wan to own branded stuff too! at least... i learn to live within my own limit. all thanx to my mum's teachings. if u wan them, earn them urself, then u deserve to own them.

for the nxt shopping trip... i wan to go in and come out wif bags of stuffs without thinking. i wan to own my own sport cars. i wan so much stuffs! sometimes pple laugh at my goals,targets and my dream. is okay for them to laugh, but let see who will have the final smirk.

dream big, aim for the sky even u fail, u still land among the stars. (quoted frm my ex principal mr yue) for me.. i wont fail. cox i wan to be a successful man. earn big bucks to support my family and my dream items :D

anyway 3 more days for my basic term to end! i hope i get posted out though~ to MP i hope!! praying very hard!!!! and i cant wait to get my pink IC! 1.5yrs more to go! my plans? get a degree! enter the cruel and hostile world.

i guess i am not good enough. i aint a perfect guy.

CNY

2011-02-13T18:12:00.003+08:00

hello pple! hows everybody's ang bao collecting? enjoy the feasting on cny goodies? I SURELY DID :D show u my fav dish~ hehehe!

tadah! mini abalone =D

YUMMY!!! everyone in the family have one piece! shiokness!

during these 5 days, abit of met ups have been done. SO HAPPY TO SEE THOSE ASSHOLE STILL KICKING ALIVE! oh and recently met up wif some of RWS colleagues. anyway hope i can make it to their chalet. attended ahhuan 21st bday chalet too. as usual she cried like a baby, hope she like the presents. happy 21st miss tay lay huan, next is ur wedding card liao :)

4th week in SCS, 4 more to go! time certainly been abit faster, i still hope time can juz go esp faster for this upcoming 2 weeks! field camp & fire movement trainings. fucking sian~ camo on, FBO on, time to play with insects & mud, CANNOT BATHE FOR 2 days :( life sucks~ FML!

after BSLC, faster post me out to unit ah!! MP MP MP!!! artillery also can!!! I DUN MIND RSAF TOO! PLS! bo bi bo bi ah!!

hope everyone enjoy their CNY! HUAT AH!

2nd wk of SCS

2011-01-30T20:36:00.005+08:00

2nd wk of SCS certainly passed so much faster compared to first wk. STILL SUCKS THOUGH. really dislike army life :( HAIS~ i really missed my BMT period. instant noodles supper party, blanket party during last few days, my sgts, my buddy! of cox the grp of 'selected members'

3rd will pass even more quickly all thanx to CNY, will be booking out on tues! wondering when will i be able to meet my BMT mates. suddenly i realised there is so many pple to meet but yet we failed to contact each other. hais. weekends r so damn short while weekdays are so bloody fking long. 1 yr 7mth more weeks. it seem so long.

on the other hand! i need to cont apply uni.. seems tat i will be able to get into SIT? reformat my com and had to redo everything again. SIANS!

read my shifu blog, seems tat we can nvr get along wif the juniors. yes WE inclding me, is not that they show favoritism but is the attitude i have is diff from wad they have. eager to learn & hunger to win. till now to date, they still cant figure out the fact tat if u wan to learn, go and approach. seniors dun owe juniors for a living nor it is a must to teach them. sigh~ to see SPTKDC in this state certainly is heart aching. 10 yrs of tkd devoted to SP, in exchange of wad? arrowing? is like SO WTF! if i would him, i would have wash hands long ago! will i give up tkd since i been enlisted? nope, i will have my blackbelt becox of some reason(S)...

for me? 10yrs of wushu. giving up on wushu seriously make alot of pple upset. i certainly miss the times when i sweat, training hard for com and of cox getting the medals :) getting into youth squad, lots of sec sch memories. and for fuck sake i havent meet up wif my newbies gay fags.

MEET UPS! UNI APPLICATION! CNY CELEBRATION!!!

reminder : uni application is 1st feb - 28th feb

SCS

2011-01-23T19:15:00.002+08:00

oh well first week in SCS is.... SIBEI SIANNNNNNNS! was feeling super down & sian through out the entire week. macham going thru BMT again but of cox with much more freedom and privilege. BUT STILL... NS SUCK.. TTM! 7 more weeks and basic foundation will be done with. PLS POST ME OUT! i dun wan stay in PLC unless posted me to intel :) i dun mind!!

prefer.... artillery or MP! CMPB pls post me to MP PLS!! i wan to see my BMT buddy there!

1.5 hrs more to booking in... VERY SIAN T.T 1yr 8mth to ORD. 7 more weeks to know nxt posting.

posting

2011-01-14T12:14:00.002+08:00

POP LOH~

7th coy

sis

7th coy platoon 2 trademark :)

yen berg

mum

ah tsai aka small boy

family pic

dad

buddy + 2 extra (ching & fat)

left in a rush. didnt take photo wif hong qing, MY GOH WEE TECK :( , joanna!

posting result is out! early morning kanna spam by smses and on laptop kanna spam by fb emails! everyone is eager to know each other posting, asking kanna where and wad unit. I IS KANNA DISTURB!!!! I WAS STILL SLPING! ANGRY-ED!!! oh well. kanna posted to...

1.	You are posted to	SCS & WSAS.
2.	Your vocation is	INF LDR(TRAINEE).

SO SAD & DISAPPOINTED!!!!!! :( everyone is expecting me to go OCS esp my section mates. sry dudes! on the other hand, looks like we can have a gathering every 2 wkends!
looks like i gonna have more time wif u :)

2011

2011-01-01T18:29:00.003+08:00

WHATS UP PEEPS!! HELLO HELLO WELCOME TO 2011!!! time really flies and i hope it will fly even faster so my NS life can just be gone within a blink of an eye!!!

1 more week jiu POP lor! YAY! been waiting since first day of BMT but was kind of sad too! when my gang jus formed up not long ago and we gonna separate already! SIAN LEH! OCS or SGT doesnt matter as long as a few of my bunk mates get the same company i happy already!

argh! BMT is really fun though esp wif some crazy peeps. had supper with them last wed along wif one of our sgt. rowdy + crazy + smelly recruit & beng + stupid stuffs we done in the crystal jade XLB and at holland v carpark. really is ki siao! i hope we wont get blacklisted! =X

when one bunk of guys get tgt... stupid stuffs starts to appear. heard before febreeze war? NICE (Y) one whole grp of guys each equipped with febreeze and start spraying one victim. guess wad? our sgt join in the fun LOL! of cox first victim is the sgt~

oh and did mention y company is 7th coy? WE ROCK AND WE PAWNS and CONQUERED! AWWW! games day champion and during the xmas performance we won every single event (2nd place though) but still we win sth!

1 more week to pop... 1yr 8mth to ORD~ -FAINTS-

2011 new yr resolution? Hmmmmms! may 2011 be a better year than 2010! =) let this yr be new beginning for everyone!

boy to man

2010-11-28T03:42:00.005+08:00

sup peeps! MISS ME BEHS?! i am back!! my first official book out frm BMT.

my thoughts for army? HAVING CAMP LOR~ positive thinking leh! but oh well it somehow hasten the time in BMT. 3 wks gone, 6 more to go! juz recently attain my marksman! nxt is my ippt. think can only get silver :( i wan my GOLD!! i dun like silver even though the colour is nicer than gold CAUSE gold = best

nxt wk is my ippt n i wonder how will i fare :( 30 more secs to 9.44s and 2 more pull ups! I CAN DO IT! after tat field camp then SIT test then throwing of grenade then POP lor!

i hope 2yrs can pass as quickly as 9 wks :(

weekends r packed like shit. meet pple here n there! ARGH! SO MANY PPLE TO MEET!! -headache-

wans my hair back! T_T

u r my motivation and looking forward towards book out

last entry before ns

2010-11-09T08:52:00.005+08:00

alright peeps juz one more last entry before i am heading towards to the chalet of tekong island!! oh god for like 1 yr 10mths. alright lets look at the bright side of life which meaning... free 'hotel' + food + got pay somemore + free 'training' to build up ur fitness + free social networking HMMMS.. not bad right? KNS PUI! i lost all my freedom + fb (mafia war & MH) which is like so impt to me! oh gosh cant help it anyway....

on packing my army stuffs i realised tat i only brought.. UNDIES! HAHAHA! LOTS OF IT SOMEMORE, hangers for clothes, clothes pegs. my cousin asked me to bring glucose, some instant noodles and biscuits. I BROUGHT MANY MANY BLACK TAPES TOO :D

looking towards army life? KIND OF! juz another phase of life of a guy, have to be thru it. I WILL BE A MAN WHEN I COME OUT!

list of pple i havent met just goes on & on & on & on. SO SRY TO THIS PEEPS~ i promise to meet up wif ya soon, alrights?! -pinky promise- BUT gonna take turn pls! i only gt a sat to spare.

receive msgs, calls, sms, spammers on twit n fb to ask me tc, most imptly DUN GL.
i v gl meh? OKAY YES i am GL! but walao go army where dare sia, see sgt like tat of cox got to suck thumb and L de mah. i will tc of myself peeps dun wry! i will come out in one piece of white cloth. CHOY! JK~ okay de lah! army nia~ take it as fitness camp lor!

to rws peeps (bodoh, kx, buddy, lub, bimbo, siao kia) : I WILL MEET U ALL! I WONT FORGET U ALL DE LA! dun say me until so bad leh!

newbies : u gay boys if u fking laugh at my botak i swear i will fking rip u all apart when we meet up. pls get urself a decent job. we will meet up SOON as long as i settled down. wait for my msg guys.

L.O.Jz : yo seniors! -fist to the chest- 27th supper once i book out k? ;) mdm pls tc of urself! shifu! pls cont to jian fei! =x OH! tat goes out to ahfat too!

tkd pple : pls train hard for ivp (esp allen chia + teo zhi juan) will be expecting a gold for u two.

AHHHS : will meet up wif u all in another 1 mth time? alice pls jy in saving up. huan ur promise for shopping trip wif her!

family : my dearest parents pls dun be so worried over me. sis u can have the car all by urself liao!

end with a random pic. NOW WE KNOW KOI CHEAT PPLE MONEY! vol of milk tea in a large cup is somehow similar to small one. when we pay more for the large is actually just paying for the pearls. ANGRY CHEAT MY MONEY! no more large koi for me!

tc of urself while i am inside. i will miss u. lots of misses n loves.

last of korea

2010-11-07T23:04:00.017+08:00

2010 World Cup Stadium

one of the games they had.

the other game.

DA CHANG JING~

Kimchi making in process

WAD?! SHH! dun disturb.

DONE-ED.

Korean Costumes.

Lunch

Nanta the cooking performance.

oops. too tired.

DINNER! korean style bak ku teh.

Breakfast

SOME BIG FIERCE DOG.

Museum of war history on korea

IS A HORSE ZODIAC!

LUNCH!

OMFGS! A FLOATING TAP!
(crap one lah, there is a tube in the stream of water)

foot of a 'hill/mountain'

beginning...

1/4 way up

TADAH!

vendor selling medal

CONQUERED!

climbed down and up TWO times cause we didnt bring camera at first.

I AM FREEZING COLD! 5 degree!

THE END WITH MR CUTE BOY! WAHAHAHA!

will going back to korea for the 2 themes parks! AHHHS pls start saving money!

korea trip day 3 & 4

2010-11-01T01:47:00.019+08:00

breakfast!

seaweed ABALONE porridge. (i only found one super extreme tiny slice less than 2cm)

morning exercise!

after breakfast, had a walk ard the area

wave to spongebob!

spongebob is into scenery!

korea's abalone DAMN HARD, chewy like rubber

spongebob wans unripe orange!

teddy bear museum

LV teddy bear. ALICE U WAN TO BUY? is sold already AWWW!

125k GOLD teddy bear

SWAROVSKI teddy bear

MUACKS MUACKX MUACKZ!

SIS BULLY BRO

failed attempt of jumping backthrust

BBQ PORK for lunch ( btw is black pig meat)

spongebob is hungry!

after lunch, we went for GO-kart

a rock suppose to look like a dragon head

seafood for dinner. END OF DAY 3

start of day 4- jeju island back to seoul

SEE SEE SEE! carry so many bags!!

spongebob gt a sweet tooth~

lunch buffet!

FINALLY there is beef!

went to nature republic for beauty products

i think tat was toner?

ginseng mask siol~

procedure of how to take care of ur face

LOTTE WORLD!!!

one of their mascot

start of the parade show (Y) RWS shld have one too.

their beer is in such a big bottle! 1.6litres!

nxt entry will be the rest of my korea pics!

changes

2010-10-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

i really missed alot of stuffs, things have been changing ard me. everything seem so difficult and i cant seem to catch up with any of the changes. i wonder does the prob lies with me or the others. i really dun like it, just seriously dun like it.

somehow i feel distanced frm tkd, dun really feel i belonged there anymore. just dun have the usual feeling of looking forwards training. i missed the hardcore training i used to have. i missed the extra sets i have been doing. i missed the rubber tubes training. i missed the sun trainings. i missed sweating and training hard like a dog. i missed training hard for IVP and when i won my first gold medal. i missed the celebration after each competition when i won my gold medal. i also missed the sunday 'family outing'. oh btw i gt a free upgrade from brown to black tip (Y) sir robin tyvm. pattern training really is tiring shit de lor!

once i hit 18, i starting partying and drinking. i really missed those days. partying was fun, totally exhausting. oh and i partied wif my sis & cousin. FAMILY BONDING (Y) i've got a cool family! drinking was hell crazy, destroying our livers. mambo on wed night and nxt day still went for attachment was totally insane.

since graduation, everyone have been busy with their own life. guys enlisted for army while gals are either busy studying for uni/poly or enter the workforce. each of them are busy with their own stuffs and slowly we are drifting apart. DUN LIKE IT.

only 2 things tat been good since graduation is weekee my long lost bro is back other thing is to enter RWS. working sux due to MALAYSIAN company _l_ fucked up company seriously. but peeps there r way hell crazy (Y) fun pple to work with. bunch of frens to be with.

things have been going bad, worse, worst since the break up. it really caught me off guard and it really brought me nearly to the state of depression. when finally things are going better, it came crashing down again. finally LIKE FINALLY somehow somewhat when everything is coming to an end, it came crashing down again. i really felt very stressed & i felt is me against the whole world. u said i dun understand ur feelings, but i do understand n u r the one tat doesnt understand my feeling. my frens said this and ur frens said tat so who is right? i am not trying to say ur frens r wrong but i somehow feel that they only think of u but not for us. sigh. the feeling of against the whole world really sucks cox there is no one for me to turn to. the stuffs i cant bear to tell u cox i didnt wan to stress or hurt u. is a double stress for me, my dear.

if time can be rewind... i still wan to train hard for my gold. i wan to train just like the others, go for sun trainings then go for 'family outing' tat was really my happy poly days.

i would nvr ever wan a break up cause it was such a stupid decision. my life revolves around u cox u were the best damn thing tat happen to me.

dear, give me a chance to be with you till we get old. i really wan to hold ur hands till end of the world.

korea trip day 1 & 2

2010-10-25T14:45:00.013+08:00

hello pple! i am back! korea wasssssssss HMMMMMM... okay lah~ going wif tour is like so standard. will be back for korea wif my gang of AHHHS. 2 yrs ah pls start saving money esp to tat one who loves to buy bag ah (AHEM AHEM NOT ALICE). i wan to play the theme park la!!! CRIES! nvr play much at all esp everland.

changi airport.

a meal before boarding

reached korea airport

my earliest lunch in my lifetime 9.30am korean time

bbq pork

welcome to everland!

1st attraction brought by tour guide. is juz sitting on a escalator nth much.

2nd attraction brought by tour guide. is a 3-D movie. is in korean wif no subtitles.
would prefer RWS shrek 4-D.

3rd attraction. sitting in this circular thing go along with the water. nth much. boring.
worse than JPR in RWS.

safari ride

oops oops =x

we only had 2hrs left in everland so i didnt sit this ride.
I WAN TO PLAY THIS ROLLER COASTER LAH! :(
I WILL BE BACK!

end of day 1.

start of day 2. APPLE FARM

lunch. pork AGAIN

dairy farm

hehehehe look at the pic below.

HUGE EH? HAHAHAHA

diy ice cream in progress

finished product. we the 1st n only team tat is successful. ZAI LOR!

after tat we went shopping!

some food we ate during shopping. we kanna chop like robert. nahbei!

dinner! ginseng chicken!

end of day 2.

stay tuned!

lonely friday night

2010-10-01T22:31:00.008+08:00

of my RWS colleagues, kaixin, xiuqi (bodoh), kahmun (buddy), jos (lub), carina (bimbo), this grp of pple is there for me during this darkest n roughest period of my life. even though we knew each other for abt 3mths but the bond is there. thank you my friends.

of my cousin chomel. thanx for making the effort coming down to my house n teach me how to bake a cake despite is ur only free day. i guess there will be more to come! thank you in advanced. WAHAHA!

mum & dad. i am sry for being so unfilial. even though i dislike the strict curfew and sometimes ur naggings, i know it is all for my own good and i am the ONLY son in the family tat is why u r so protective over me. i love u mum & dad.

Of LoJz. Thanx for being there for me. esp mdm n shifu.
Ahfat, thanx for ur super huge chicken drumstick.
Robin, thanx for those words of guidance.
Shifu, thanx for being there. Even though u dun say out, i know u have been totally worried for me esp during the nationals period. i am sry tat i let u down & underperformed. i will be gg for my blackbelt n fight for nationals :) i knew u always wanted me to win a gold for nationals in a blackbelt and i will. even it takes me to win a gold medal at the age of 30, i will. i will do it becox u r my shifu and wad u expect of me.
Mdm, u were always there. Thanx for meeting me and toking to on phone. u nvr once reject my call or the meetings. sry to bother u so much. even during ur tough times u were still there for me. i owed u n shifu so much tat i dunno how to repay both of u. i will nvr, nvr forget LOJz.

of my sis, if u realised i uploaded 2 pics of u! we were only separated by a concrete wall but sometimes we seemed to be so far apart. still u will nvr forget to take care of me, ur little bro. i love u sis. i knew u were always be there for me, even at times we might seem hostile. Thanx.

of u my love. this is one of the ONLY FEW pics we had. i know i started everything n cause so much trouble for u, our frens, our families n third parties. i tried my very best in make up to u by using my utmost sincerity. its kind of too late but is better than nvr tried. i did everything i can in my means, not in my means, wad i am supposed to do and wad i am not supposed to do. i am willingly to do so much so much things for u, and only for u. i hope u like the bday surprise. 12am at ur house. even though is kind of screwed up but well, i still hope it touches ur heart. the cake, the vanguard board, Polaroid camera, ur fav tidbits, the candles and climbing to ur window. i have my heart dug out for u. it is really ur call.

let everything end soon..

final attempt

2010-09-19T01:05:00.002+08:00

dunno where r u, dunno who u with but i only know u r drinking which is bad. jus dun wan anything happened to u. the way i use to protect u maybe a little extreme, but at least i ensure nothing happens to u. even though u maybe unhappy or angry at me, i dun mind cause at least i make sure nth bad happens to u. now, i dun have the ability anymore. it really hurts to see anything happen to u. the pain and the guilt is really unbearable.

really appreciate pple who r wry n concerned abt me but pls stop telling me to give up. i know my limits and i know wad am i doing. i know chances are very slim but i aint giving up yet, not yet.

define ur own happiness. i juz wan u to be happy, do wad u think tat will makes u happy. but ur way of being happy is to please everyone ard u. if really think u r genuine happy, cont then. my definition of happiness is simple, it is u.

i hate to see u suffer cox i cant do anything to make u smile.

people

2010-09-18T02:52:00.003+08:00

and oops i did it again! i koped frm my sis blog =X

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered - forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish and having ulterior motives - be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies - succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may on cheat you - be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone can destroy them overnight - build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, there may be jealousy - be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow - do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough - give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God - it was never meant to be between you and them anyway.

Never stray from hope, never stray from faith, never stray from being better and never stray from your aspirations in life.

there r so many kinds of pple in ur life. some r juz passer-bys, some r real friends who stood beside u all this time and last of all the pple who loved u. choices had to make btw them or for the stuffs tat happens everyday. there is no such thing as a 100% perfect solution for all n hence compromises come into place. u really had to make a choice as u cant always please both parties. even god cant please everyone in this world, wad makes u think u can? think carefully and consider ur choices carefully. dun be so affected by wad other pple say or wad other pple think of u. cox ultimately not everyone understands u like ur friends or ur loved one do.

wad for care abt the others who r juz only passer-bys in ur life? wad for care for their opinion when they are juz judging frm the appearance? dun live ur life for the others, live ur life for urself my dear. like i always used to say n i think u have either forgotten or it doesnt register in ur brain. choice is always urs, u r the one tat makes it.

it hurts to see u in this state, it hurts even more cox i indirectly cause it.

pissed off

2010-09-15T22:59:00.004+08:00

it has been quite a while since i ever felt this emotion - anger. for the past three mths, i either had been fking emo sad shit or some stoner.

i not angry abt u giving false hope nor being fickle minded. jus tat u still sees me as some normal guy out there. a player, playboy, jerk, bastard or wadever, i am pissed abt tat. yes no doubt i dumped and hurt u so does tat qualifies me to be the normal guy out there?

can u pls tell me any one guy out there who actually dumped his gf n cry like a fking loser? (cried in front of his mum, sis n friends or alone outside) not only cried but emo-ed for whole period of time. cant eat, slp n had to drink himself to slp EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? if u do pls intro to me, i think i need a good buddy.

i am pissed becox this few mths wad i did seem nth to u at all. sincerity is wad u always looked at, but u dun see any? i WILLINGLY changed so much becox of u, to be a better guy/bf/son, for ur sake my sake our sake.

so right now i am juz any guy out there who sees any pretty gal and try means n ways to hook up with them? juz like in the club where guys grindings gals or flirt ard wif gals even being attached, or even worse, go overseas and have FLINGS. is tat wad u really see in me? i can only see pls stereotype every single guys out there. there will always be tat 1% who doesnt do tat. even u r joking abt my thai trip, muz u say i will have flings? 1) tat is a very big insult to my character 2) i tot u trusted me alot, so it is all empty talk? 3) i nvr ever betrayed u tat includes grinding gal in a club 4) u nvr believed i loved u so much and only wanted u 5) i am disappointed in u to say tat kind of things.

wad is fair? nth is fair in the world. if u wan victory, u gonna fight for it. love is selfish and human nature is selfish too. tat is why i am fighting so hard for u. reputation reputation reputation, u said a gal reputation is everything but a guy reputation is nth. so wad if a guy is labeled as a flirt or a playboy, it is normal. hello wtf is tat suppose to mean? why doesnt a guy needs his reputation? everyone says my first impression give them a playboy, clubber look, oh well i always will give them a wtf look but i juz heck them becox they dunno me. pple who knows me wont say i am a fking playboy or a clubber. i mind ALOT abt wad pple says abt me, who doesnt? i may appear i dun give a shit but i do. ESP to those pple who r close to me n knows me well. i wont be bothered abt those passer-bys cox they r juz some passer-bys in our lives. wad they says only reflects what they THINK of you, it is juz a opinion not a fact. pple says things abt how they think of u based on the APPEARANCE of the subject but they doesnt know the ACTUAL FACTS, so why bother abt them?

after winning my 5th gold, i dun feel happy at all. LIKE SERIOUSLY. others cry out loud, lie on the arena, run ard the arena, hug their coaches but i juz walk out NORMALLY. partly is becox i underperformed n didnt reach my own expectation. but obviously it is u. i was thinking abt my choice 3 yrs ago when i chose tkd over u, did i make the right choice? last time i used to think it is, but now i will say it is not. if to choose again, i will choose both n juggle both. so wad if i won so many golds when u arent there for me anymore? i made a bad choice, so r u gg to follow my footsteps? i regret. seriously.

to be with u, i sacrificed alot of things willingly. but as for u, u seemed so unwillingly. becox i loved u and i dun mind giving up here n there. i juz wan to be with u. u really think i am not a playful guy? dun wan stay out late nights? dun wan party? dun wan hang out wif friends? i choose not to and i dun mind AT ALL becox i juz wan to be wif you. when tgt wif u, u r my forever number one. am i to u?

tml when u met her i dun expect much. or shld i say 0% tat she agrees to u coming back to me. as ur best friend, she doesnt wan clear up my mess for the THIRD time. she doesnt wan to see u get caught in btw of us again. she doesnt wan to see u crying or to be sad anymore. she wans u to have the best treatment n happiness. i admit i did a super horrible job and i dun take any effort to get to know her as well. is my bad.

i used to think love is jus a 2 person stuffs. but i was totally wrong. till now i realised. i realised lots and lots of things during this period. it is too late like u said. yes i know. tat is why i changed and put in so much effort, i only hope my sincerity will simply touched ur heart again.

love is so simple but yet simple things r so difficult to be achieved. love is still a myth afterall.

i am pissed but my heart is drowned with tears n disappointment

5th gold

2010-09-13T00:41:00.004+08:00

alright end of nationals and i did as promised - to bring back another gold medal. this is my 5th gold in a row and sadly to say my last brown belt competition :( shall advance to black already since so many pple r pressurizing me! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! on my way~ black belt competition certainly will be a total new challenge for me. gonna pump 202% more effort for trainings.

big thank you for those who came down n support me. YOU, jo, my parents, L.O.Jz. most imptly my shifu. thanx for everything. i will move on to black belt de, no wry! LOOKS LIKE I WILL NEED A BLACK BELT SOON HUH?! hmmmms...

but well some sad thing to say, i underperformed :( BY ALOT. some piece of crap performance out there :( merely scoring 4points for my first match and 6points for my second match. totally disappointed wif my performance. sigh. anyway grats on SP winning overall male champ for the 2nd time! way to go! SP SA!

after tat dinner at some wulu place after tat we went to yishun dam to chu chu feng, nxt stop is some mac at yishun for a mini supper.

did some random thoughts during this period of time. i really sacrificed alot and i seriously meant alot for tkd. all these medals, are they really worth it? i dunno y but this last medal i dun seem happy at all. jus not the same feeling anymore for this past 2 yrs. all i know right now is i won so many medals but they couldnt satisfy me. becox i only wan to win u back.

i dunno how to convince u tat i not the same anymore and i dun expect our r/s to be the same anymore. if rather u would give up both guys, i would rather leave u n let u be with him. at least i know u r in a hand of a decent guy. love is selfish and of cox i really wan u back. pple change and u have changed i guess? before u enter uni i told u lots of stuffs and u promised u wont be like tat, but in the end? i was right. if u really think fun is more impt than being madly in love or shld i say enjoying the one and only uni life is more impt, i will go.

周杰伦-说了再见

2010-09-10T01:50:00.001+08:00

天凉了雨下了你走了

清楚了我爱的遗失了

落叶飘在湖面上睡着了

想要放放不掉泪在飘

你看看你看看不到

我假装过去不重要

却发现自己办不到

说了再见才发现再也见不到

我不能就这样失去你的微笑

口红待在桌角而你我找不到

若角色对调你说好不好

能不能就这样忍着痛泪不掉

说好陪我到老永恒往哪里找

再次拥抱一分一秒都好
你的笑你的好脑海里一直在绕
我的手忘不了你手的温度
心碎了一地捡不回从前的心跳
身陷过去我无力逃跑
说再见才发现再也见不到

how am i suppose to let go when i know u wont be happy wif him?

雨下一整晚

2010-09-09T00:39:00.004+08:00

雨下一整晚 - 周杰伦

街灯下的橱窗
有一种落寞的温暖
图贴在玻璃上
画著你的模样
开著车漫无目的地转弯
不知要去哪个地方
凉却的电视墙
到底有谁在看

白杨木影子被拉长
像我对你的思念道不完
原来我从未习惯
你已不在我身旁
街道的铁门被拉上
只剩转角霓虹灯还在闪
这城市的小巷

雨下一整晚

你撑把小纸伞
她音韵太婉转唉~
雨落下雾茫茫
问天涯在何方喔喔~
啊~午夜里你深藏
偷偷偷透过窗
烛台前我妈还在想
小扇板画呀画
小纸伞遮雨也遮月光

missing u.
still waiting.

你不知道的事

2010-09-07T22:39:00.004+08:00

你不知道的事 - 王力宏

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛
才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星
能几颗会落地
我飞行
等你坠落之际
很靠近
还听见呼吸
对不起
我却没捉紧你
你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴
像倾盆大雨
坠入满地
在心里清醒
你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
我的事
你不知道的事

u dun know how much i haf missed u
u dun know how much i loved u
u dun know how hurt am i.

IT fair

2010-09-06T00:36:00.002+08:00

w00ts okay end of Comex, IT fair. TIRING LIKE SHIT. 7/hr no commission?! WAD SHIT IS TAT! why am i always getting this kind of shit work :( giving out flyer earns more than me sia! fucked up~

working under M1 selling fiber broadband, i wan get one too! then my internet will be like super duper fast! but well condition for this fiber broadband u haf to install a termination point by some company called OpenNet. after tat wait for activation den u can subscribe frm M1. den haf to wait for another company called Nucleus to come n install modem (con pple $ nia). wait another 2 days for activation AND U CAN USE THE FIBER INTERNET! anyway modem is wired so u may need a wireless router if u wan ur house to haf wireless connection. so u can either rent wireless router frm M1 or u can use any third party router. but if u rent frm M1, u can get a digital home fixed line for ur home residential use. $2/mth free incoming n outgoing!

I BEEN FUCKING REPEATING THIS FOR AT LEAST 123456789 TIMES.

anyway i haf to wait till 2012 for this fking shit thing -.-

i love my mum, aunt n friends who visited me! i always gt ai xin food n drinks~ <333 frm these peeps! met up wif patrick n lublub (jos) during my work time =x I DUN GIVE A SHIT! wahahahas!

thurs- blueberry tea frm bodoh
fri- shuanger's sweet & passion fruit tea, lunch & dinner frm mum n aunt.
sat- chocolate milkshake, sushi n dinner frm mum n aunt
sun- starbucks frm buddy kahmun, dinner frm aunt

whenever i see couple walk past, i will think of u. we nvr been to IT show before cox i dun like crowded place to squeese wif pple. we havent tried lots of things before but we wont get the chance anymore perhaps? why do ur actions differ so much frm wad u said? or it is juz me? my colleagues asked why do i look so depressed n stone, wad else can i say my dear? r u thinking thru the stuffs or u juz simply ignoring it?

of loving n letting go

2010-09-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

if ya are not able to hold someone back

then it will be better to let him/her go

and hopefully he/she will regret the decision

and hopefully it wont be too late to rectify the situation

loving someone

is not holding your love ones back

let them go

in hope that one day, he/she will realize it

and in hope that one day, you will realize that he/she is not meant to be with you

let he/her go

probably it's for the better cause

and probably you'll be relief

at least you have tried your very best in it

no regrets, no regrets.

for what it is worth

courage, it's all you need

decision, there's no right and wrong.

(it actually depends on how you look at it

you will find a path for yourself eventually)

belief, is what i believe in

and faith, is one important element in my life now

afterall, i believe that there will always be someone better out there in the world

it's just whether you want it to happen

everyone who is close to me ask me to let go. juz like everyone close to u is asking u to do the same. becox each party wan me or u to be better off n be happy. do u love me riz now? answer this to urself and pls be truthful. tats all i am asking, ask ur heart for once.

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight

High off of love, drunk from my hate
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love her
The more I suffer, I suffocate
Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates
Me, she fuckin' hates me and I love it, Wait!
Where you going? I'm leaving you.
No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back

Here we go again, it's so insane
'Cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane, but when it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed, I snapped, "Who's that dude?"
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to get 'em
Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em

It's the fate that took over, it controls you both
So they say, you're best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know you 'cause today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it "window pane"

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby, please come back, it wasn't you, Baby, it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna

lyrics frm love the way u lie.

to my love, i know i hurt u way too much till u r so afraid of me riz now. 2 mths i can change this much even though is a short period of time, i really hope my changes will be my utmost sincerity. i done so much juz so much, everything tat i shld do or everthing i shldnt do, i haf done everything. i crawled and fight my way thru so much. listen to ur heart my love, my sweetheart, my dearest gal.

to let u go?

bday celebration(s)

2010-09-02T00:01:00.005+08:00

yesterday 31 aug! finally walk into big '2' :( OH MAN! but i still look super duper YOUNG :D meet up wif huan first. oops n so ps to mr eric who travel all de way frm malaysia, i be the host nxt time! cut hair, walk ard n update on each other. went home first then back to meet u. this yr bday celebration? aint too great. life really is so not smooth sailing. FML FML FML.

it was really heart aching frm the beginning to the end of meal. juz hope u like the flowers. walk to merlion park. we tok n we cried. is kind of funny to see a couple crying by the riverside. finally understood ur situation. i dun wan influence u or wad but is ur choice. he is indeed a much better choice n wif ur friends supporting. seems at i am on the losing side. i dun blame ur frens cox they juz wan u to be happy.

i juz wan really say a big sry to u n ur frens. i really dunno wad to do now. i crack my head for the whole day n i could come out wif only one solution. the solution is to walk away frm u.

sry for not being mature n sensible enuff to u. sry for neglecting u when u need me so much. i really shldnt haf let u go. i am a fking stupid moron who wasted 3yrs not realising how impt you are. sry to make u scared of me so much till now u dun even know whether to trust me anot. i am a piece of shit totally. vows & promises i made r useless cox this 2 mths is juz too short compared to rest of our lives. but i believe i can do it becox i am willing n i wan to do it. trust... is so hard. i know.

it might be last night view wif u. last time holding ur eyes. last time wiping ur tears. last time giving u a super tight hug. last time giving u a goodbye kiss. i dunno wad will the outcome be. but it jus killing me.

i owed u too much, jus too much. if tat is the only way to repay u, let u feel better, i do it cox tats wad i owed u.

remember years ago
someone told me i should take caution
when it comes to love

my illusion my mistake
i was careless i forgot

lyrics from Impossible by Shontelle

oh great emoing again. fked up.

anyway meet up wif joanna aka shuang er. ate at skinny pizza n we conclude tat it is not due to our liking. walk ard n we went for dessert @ MOF! =D NICE HOR THE MANGO :) we shld bring laopa come eat the dessert buffet! YUMMY YUMMY SINFUL TTM BUT WE LIKE~ :D

after tat met up wif da jie aka aijia! man man every 6 mths it is a must to meet up. wong kah tai u bloody asshole meet up soon before i enlist along wif aijia. ate high tea at bao jing tian, their food sux, services sux too and waiting is bloody hell long. went shopping again! got a top frm topman cox aijia insisted on buying sth for me -.- thanx man but really dun do tat again! so damn paiseh to keep accepting present frm u! BUT I STILL WAN MY ARMANI BELT =X

today is teachers day! mr ang heng teck aka shifu aka laopa, thank you so much, for everything. frm poly yr 1 to now, u r still putting efforting in training me despite me not reaching ur standard. thank you for not giving up on me when i didnt achieve anything in tournaments. asides frm training, u brought me out play & haf fun LAST BUT NOT LEAST DRINKING N DESTROYING MY LIVER, i still love u! :) thank you for everything. i know this period of time i been not myself. sry to made u worry over me and really sry if i ever missed training becox of personal issue. i know u haf been dead wry abt my performance for this nationals, dun wry k? i do u proud! becox i am not juz aiming for a gold but i am aiming for another 21-0. mr ang, i will do u proud :) no guarantee but i will try KO my opp. TRY la hor.

dunno wad happened to me today but i am all back to emo mood. gosh. someone kill me pls. i really am at lost. fuck my life la. nahbei cb i wan rot to death! ARGH! when i am getting better, i suddenly juz lose it. TOTALLY. i dunno why but when i am at alone at mrt, it jus came out like tat. fuck fuck fuck fuck! curse n swear X 999

cross heart. double cross heart. triple cross heart. i really really really love u.

bday celebration

2010-08-31T04:21:00.003+08:00

sun met up wif ahgua aka weekee for a lunch & movie. watch the expendables. its a totally guy show. after tat i have to accompany this retard to walk all the way frm ps to shaw centre to take his stupid lens -.- i was shag out frm the walk. took train back to ps to meet carina for another movie! grown ups. fantastic movie! it is so super funny. ate at thai xpress and she treat me! :) thanx pal. a pity kahmun, my buddy couldnt make it! :( MAKE UP TO ME KAHMUN!

juz now met up wif bodoh at jp first as she wanted to do some stationary shopping. i had to help her hold a retarded soft toy and tat thing is not small at all pls -.- fine nvm went back to hostel to put her stuffs then cab down to somerset. ate the handburger and it was a treat frm her. thanks bodoh :) i finished the burger within 6 mouth =x i gt a big mouth =D nutella milkshake + marshmallow is ultimately sinful.

kx 'surprisingly' pop by n she bought a small caramel cake. thanx kx. after tat we went shopping! n i bought 2 tops -.- drop by canele. even more sinful crepes. nutella + caramel is heaven man. we chat frm 7-10+ till the shop closes. okay n i decided to buy the snow skin mooncake from there for my godmum, cox it haf 8 different exotic tastes and it seems nice. i went to toilet a total of 4 times and maybe i think i gt a serious bladder prob =x

rush down to yishun for k session wif L.O.Jz! till 3am+ surprisingly my mum agreed to let me go. well i am back home n i am missing u. BADLY. SUPER BADLY.

looked at my gifts tat u made for me. i wish u were here. i dun need any fancy gifts cox all i wanted is u.

appeal

2010-08-29T23:50:00.003+08:00

oh well looks like the appeal had worked n i am still fighting.. i dunno wad the outcome will be but i am crawling n fighting my way out. everything seems to be normal, starting to eat n slp as normal. starting to go online n tok n going out wif friends. sry to make so many pple worried. this small kid still needs more time and indeed he is still a small childish boy.

but anyway updates updates. on fri my family went to take a family portrait. the package was bought during my sis NUS commencement. end cost was 1.5k =.= it was WOW man but once in a lifetime thing lah. after tat lunch wif family at EU sq i think? some jap lunch buffet, jap buffet at SPH there is still so much better though.

night went to MBS to 'celebrate' my bday wif L.O.Jz. celebrate = drinking session. 1 vodka, 1.5 dozen of beer, 1.5bottle of martell, 1 red wine. OKAY DE LAH~ noted, allen is one crazy asshole.

tonight by right we would have patched. shit happens n things crop up. being alright is a thing i have to do and i finally have the courage n strength to move on. i am still trying hard, real hard. dun give up ur hope on me pls my dear. i aint giving up so pls, dun give up on me too.

growing up

2010-08-25T22:43:00.003+08:00

looks like today is the final straw after u told me u were tgt wif him. yeap i guess tats de ending. dun wan to know whether is real or anot cox it only hurts when i get to know more. be happy, i know u will =) take lots n lots of care. i wish u all de best.

i really wan to thank you for teaching me lots of stuffs. thank you for loving me so deeply. thank you for loving my family as well. thank you for being so tolerate wif me. thank you for being ever such sweet. thank you for loving me n being wif me for 2 times.

so sry for hurting u. sry for letting u go, not once but twice. sry for not trusting u. sry for being a jerk & an asshole. sry for not being live up to ur expectations. sry for making empty promises. sry for not being there when u need me. esp sry to took so long to realise i loved u tat deeply n to settle down.

i learn the meaning of love at the cost of losing u. i wonder does tat worth it? if really had to make a decision, i wont choose no but it is unfair to u. cox u wont be happy wif me.

guess letting go is a process of growing up. i am so not strong enuff to do tat but i haf to, i gt no choice. these 2 mths i tried my v best, but maybe still not good enuff. is juz like sparring, i let u go twice. i lost my 1st n 2nd round. when 3rd round i suddenly woke up n fighting hard to win back some points to make it a draw. into the sudden death match when i couldnt score any points even though u nearly gave in 3 times. n u suddenly decide to cut contact for a mth but is juz been 5 days. is painful for me esp seeing u going out wif him n finally getting tgt wif him. after sudden death without any points, judges (who is u) decide tat i lost the match. i put on my everything on the line but like u said, it has been too late.

yea too late i guess. sometimes i hate myself for not being sensible n mature enuff, not being able to look at things in ur perspective. after realising so much, falling so deep, thought so much, in the end i haf to give up. so reluctant. jus so reluctant. got to blame myself for everything i guess.

kiddish me, is time to grow up.

best wishes.

regret that i took so long to realise everything.

fate

2010-08-18T01:02:00.002+08:00

is over i guess?
u said to give u a mth, alright it shall be.
though i not pinning much hope but of cox every parts of me still wans u back.
i took 2 mths to look thru our 3 yrs of r/s
n i realised u r juz too good for me.
i owed u so much, juz so much.
how many times of 'sorry' can nvr repay the debt i owed u.
tat is y i willing to spend my rest of life to repay u.
i am so gg to bring u happiness for the rest of ur life.
like i said, i make my choice.
and tat is u.
the one i willing to spend my rest of my life wif u.
i willing to give up the whole forest for u, this only tree.
cox these 2 mths makes me realise too many stuffs.

i really wan u cox i see the connection wif u.
not only juz wif me but u n my family too.
but well is juz too bad.
i took too long to realise it.
cant blame anyone except for myself.

i emo-ed for 4 mths.
from we tgt till break till now.
i think is time for me to get back to my normal self.
L.O.Jz is worried for me esp my shifu :)
dun wry laopa i will still bring another gold medal back! =)

to my mum, i am slowly walking out of this shadow.
dun wry n give me some time.

to u who i dunno whether u will read my blog.
if u really think he can bring u happiness, go for him!
u said 1 mth but i dun pin much hope seriously.
haha but of cox i still wait for this whole 1 mth.
19 sep.

i planned to give u a surprise on nxt fri!
ARGH! BUT DAMN IT! :(
looks like is gonna be a surprise tat nvr gg to happen.

fate really loves to play wif ard us.
after 4yrs, fate let us to meet each other.
n not long we got tgt.
after a yr n we broke up.
but fate didnt juz give up on us.
after another yr fate seems to give us another chance again.
but i screwed everything up.
these 2 mths, 3 times i was juz this close to win u back.
but fate decides to separate us.
this one mth... i dunno wad fate will do to us.

most regretful thing in my life was tat it took me so long juz to realise how much n how deep i really loved u. no matter wad, i still failed to cherish u and hurt u so badly. if the way of u being happy is to let u go, so be it. =)

kite flying

2010-08-11T02:00:00.003+08:00

alright sup peeps! i am back but well still healing in process. moved frm ICU to normal ward le :) so yea dun wry guys! at least i am out frm my lowest peak but dun think i will be updating much unless there is an event or wad. most probably will be my family outings :) BORING? yea i know but bo bians. I AM A HOME BOY :D :D not much happening stuffs de! hehehex.

initially we planned to fly kite BUT my pattern... go there do wad? RELAX EAT EAT N EAT! =x play abit of monopoly card games as well though~ oh oh nxt wed L.O.Jz going kite flying as well! oh man~ now the in thing is kite flying? =/ i shall go get a few kites for them!

i missed out the fun wif u. i regret.

depress

2010-08-05T17:54:00.002+08:00

i havent really realised i been in a depression mood for mths until someone had told me i been depressed for awhile. since when me n u were tgt till now, it jus kept getting frm bad to worse and to worst.

i tot break up is a solution but instead i found out it was a cowardly act. i dig my own grave n i am suffering the consequences right now. fine i am stupid n too rash in acting. but i nvr once stop loving u. so wad if i dumped u once, twice? yes i admit i am an asshole, jerk or bastard. i done it due to my own selfish reason. i used to tot it was for ur own good but it was all for myself.

u raised my hope so high up the night before and today it came all crashing down and even worse i juz cant take it when u did those things to urself. it was all my fucking fault. i am so not going to blame anyone else except for myself.

it hurts. really hurts tat much. i juz couldnt be myself for these few mths anymore. wad am i supposed to do when u were the most impt part in my life? i juz lose it and feeling all empty and heart broken. my heart today was shattered. i dunno wad emotions am i supposed to show anymore. i cant face anything right now..

all back in my room bring all our memories back tgt. looking thru the gifts u gave, the DIY stuffs u made for me. browsing thru the photo album refreshes our sweet memories during our 1st r/s. looking at the puzzle makes me remember loving memories during our 2nd r/s. i regret. i really really regret.

we hid things frm one n other until recently we thrash the entire thing out. was it too late? i think so but i am still so not giving up. i tried my very best to woo u back. i changed, i gave in becox i know tat i am a really lousy bf. i am juz a short tempered, childish kid tat wans everything in his way nvr sparing a thought for u. all becox of u, i listened to every single detail for the past mth, i am willing to change. for ur sake, my sake n most imptly to salvage our r/s.

wad else do u wan frm me? pls stop asking me to give up. pls stop telling me tat u r not worth it. pls stop telling me tat u r bad gal tat dun worth my time n effort. why mus u always haf negative thoughts abt our r/s. u have been saying all these since we haf been tgt frm the start but i nvr ever feel it tat way, esp right now. u always said i nvr loved u, nvr missed u, nvr cared abt u but i haf always loved u, always missing u, always cared abt u. u r always my number 1. u failed to realise tat or maybe i didnt show it too obviously cox i am a inner person which u nvr had expected.

i havent been slping well for mths. i couldnt slp cox once i closed my eyes i see u. i missed u badly, real badly. i wan u to slp in my arms again, to be able to see u the first time in the morning when i wakes up. i can only rely on alcohol to slp and is getting frm bad to worse cox alcohol doesnt seem to be any use anymore unless i consumed quite a heavy dosage.

i changed so much lately becox of u. i sped becox of u. i been 'insulted' & 'humiliated' by my cousins n sis becox fo u. i quarrel wif my mum becox of u. i cried in front of my mum n sis becox of u. i juz dun seem to be myself anymore. i am becoming a loser, a total loser, useless bum. oh crap, i juz cant help it.

all i am waiting is juz a 'yes' or 'i do'. i know is really difficult for u. trust is hard to gain back when is broken not only once but twice. i am at lost. i dunno wad else can i do to prove my sincerity, my love.

this will be my last entry. blog is closed.

i hate myself ttm tat i dun feel like living anymore.

phuket wif pics

2010-08-02T00:55:00.004+08:00

above pics r wad we did during day 1. after arriving frm airport, we bought sims cards den sign a package to pipi island. after tat reach hotel and we took a walk near our hotel area. ok skip to night activity. we went to the nearby shopping mall n took a walk. n ended up teck n other guy, edwin playing wif some shooting range. while me n other guy, santo ( fag wif green shirt) walk ard. end up camwhoring. all thanks to fag wif green shirt :)
guess wad?! we went to a pub. n omgs. is fking crazy there.

alright peeps. fk this 3 guys, i swear i didnt know this pic was taken. like i said, 50% of the trip i was slping. evidence as shown. day 2 spent at pipi island. i left out some pics cox tat edwin fking retard didnt upload the freaking pics. the snorkeling was okay lah but i didnt like the beach n the sea. i miss de beach n the sea in NZ or palau sibu. crap man! i wan go back NZ again!

day 3 we went shopping shopping shopping! biggest shopper is edwin n he is the biggest spender too! as for me...................... i brought only 5000 buat there :( n brought only 60 sgd. wan to exchange also cant exchange much :( :( :(

NEXT TRIP WILL BE KOREA IN OCT! =)

mia

2010-07-28T00:06:00.002+08:00

SUP PEEPS!! sry for being mia. as ya all know, i am healing in process. yeap yeaps. sucks ttm. anyway i did blog but all of them is unpublished. shall really hide my emo-ness from everyone else.

oh ya n pics frm phuket will be uploaded soooooooooooon? i guess? hehe sry peeps, kind of busy but i try n blog more often! anyway i slept like 50% of the whole 4 days =x

AUG IS COMING SOON! WHICH MEANS MY BDAY IS COME SOON TOO!!!! 31 aug! presents presents plsssss! HEHEHEHE! and..... nov is coming soon~ oh well i will become a botak boy~ sigh~ hate SG for implementing army... really think such a small grp of army can really defend our ctry? kiss my ass lah! still...... HAIS!

okay 27th aug is booked by L.O.J.z

i am still waiting.

june

2010-06-23T22:14:00.003+08:00

this mth of june is a complete disaster.

first i broke up wif my gf. well a torturing 3 weeks heartache and emotional roller coaster. wonder is a blessing in disguise or another regretful decision i haf to suffer for the rest of my life.

secondly i lost my hp :( heartaches to the max! 2nd day of usage i freaking drop it. sent to repair. get back use another 4 or 5 days jiu lost it. KNN! fuck tat thief. singapore dun haf enuff kind souls lor! :( :( :(

thirdly i quarrel wif my 'boyfren' GOH WEE TECK! :( :( oh gosh~ i am turning gay soon! anyway is settled.

fourth, fuck this world cup. totally screwed to the max. crappy shit!

on the other hand.. i met up wif weekee. n well tok abt for the past 1.5 yrs. wed is gonna be a gay night for weekee, teck & moi. DULI CHINA MAN WHERE R U~

oh and i have been drinking for the past 3 sats. first is under classified. second dempsey wif L.O.Jz + 2 ahfat's colleagues. third phuture wif carina n her friend BUT 1 bacardi NIAS. gosh. n i lost my phone tat night. FUCKED UP night. so fking crowded sia. irritating. oh but i saw CID sia~ so cool. suddenly spotlight den all the lights went on come catch a grp of pple. this sat! DUNNO GO WHERE but cfm got drinking. MY LIVERRR~ IS STILL STRONG =D =D

in summary, this month of june is a fucking suay month for me. if i didnt remember wrongly, last yr month of june also fking suay. in other words, month of june is so not my month.

Sometimes love just ain't enough

2010-06-14T23:59:00.001+08:00

I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side. I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

life is a torture but i dun haf a choice except live wif it.

最长的电影

2010-06-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

我们的开始
是很长的电影
放映了三年
我票都还留着
冰上的世界
脑海中还在旋转
望着你慢慢忘记你
朦胧的时间
我们溜了多远
冰刀画的圈
圈起了谁改变
如果再重来
会不会稍嫌狼狈
爱是不是不开口才珍贵
再给我两分钟
让我把记忆结成冰
别融化了眼泪
你妆都花了
要我怎么记得
记得你叫我忘了吧
记得你叫我忘了吧
你说你会哭
不是因为在乎

one last emo post

2010-06-04T22:17:00.006+08:00

today almost died on duty. wa knn ccb! freeze at position for 2hrs straight~ ggfied rehs! omgs! reason of death: exhaustion + asthma. anyway today ALMOST went to dbl o, the story begins like this

wt: eh u know today dbl o open?
me: yesh. why? wan go ah?
wt: u also dun dare
me: steady la! mum nt at home also single liao.
wt: sure anot?
me: fk u! nahbei steady lah!

at 9.55pm wt: eh dun go liao la. v crowded.

KNN ASSHOLE PS! u owe me 1 clubbing outing.

was eating instant noodles for dinner. i tot of u. ur last stay out at my house was after my training. u said u were not hungry cox i werent hungry either. but u gobbled up the instant noodles right away. hahaha.

i love u for who u r. even though i always complained abt u here n there. u still were my perfect gf but in ur eyes, u always tot i dun love u or u r not the one for me.

i love to see ur stupid yet cute expression whenever u make a silly mistake.
i love to see u pouting ur mouth when u r thinking of sth.
i love ur stupidity cox it makes u cute.
i love ur beautiful smile.
i love ur stubbornness in pda-ing even though i hate to the max.
i love u. simply sweet love.

frm now onwards,
i smile is not becox i am happy, is becox i thought of u.
i cry is not becox i am sad, is becox i missed u.

the last emo post. is time to move on for the both of us. whether is there another chance, i leave it all to fate. if fate brought us tgt 2 times, perhaps maybe a 3rd time.

anyway tml is operation: destroy liver. LMAOS!

dzt hearts xzt

sms

2010-06-04T00:16:00.002+08:00

today we msged quite alot..
both of us acknowledged tat we still r deeply in love
but..
sigh~
shant mention abt it.

but really?
everything u said, do u really meant it?
cox i am really touched by it.

so worried when last night u called me and u were drunk.
pls
take real good care of urself.
promise me, will ya?

i wonder tonight will i be able to slp wifout the influence of alcohol..
i will..
and i will try..
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢?

single

2010-06-03T00:44:00.003+08:00

i jus didnt know wad to do..
except a break up.
we juz haf too much too much prob..
is it becox we fell in love too deep?

i tot i could manage wifout u.
but it jus less than 20hours and i cmi already.
i was at timbre and i saw the spot.
the first outing we ever been to watch firework.
after tat we walk to raffles place.
tat same spot.
i still remembered u wore a pink tube dress.
u were not only a part of my life but u were already my life.
my life revolves juz ard u and only u.

i took a gamble and risk it all.
i lost everything.
but one thing for sure is our feelings.
it is always there.
even though so much probs stands in btw us, our feelings nvr changed.

life is so contradicting.
so deeply in love yet cant be tgt.

i took a yr and u still stood in my heart.
and i know after this we will nvr have another chance again.
how i wish..
i wish..
we r juz a pair of normal happy couple.

i look at ur clothes in my wardrobe.
i teared.
i miss u.
very much.
i love u deeply.
i cant do wifout u.. but i haf to.
i tot i could manage.
but i failed totally.

my heart shattered for ur first twit.
i tot my heart went dead for ur second twit.
but i realise
i still love u afterall.
deeply.
it wasnt dead at all.

i miss u.
i love u.
but..
i haf to let u go.

love is still a myth after all.

lost

2010-06-02T00:54:00.004+08:00

i am seriously at lost.
i dunno wad to do at all.
wondering..
is there anyone can really understand my plight?

is not tat i dun wan to say or explain..
it is becox i cant.
dun ask me why?
i juz cant.

i HATE to be alone but i juz wan to be..
i know it is contradicting..

i wan to withdraw myself from everyone.
i dun wan to face anyone.
i dun wan to talk.
i dun wan to face the prob.
becox i dunno how to solve it.

at lost.
i dunno wad to do at all.
clueless.

love..
is so painful.
but yet so seductive.
lures its prey and torture it before killing it.
i am the prey.
i fell into the trap.
will there be anyone to rescue me?

alone

2010-05-29T01:30:00.003+08:00

for some obvious reason i havent been myself for the past week. trying hard to act normal but still it is a failure. perhaps my normal self is too noisy and crappy.

i juz wan to be alone. think thru stuffs. i juz wan to hole up myself. nua at home. BUT I CANT. i gotta work & train for my competition. i haf to face my colleagues n frens. i tried my best to be normal but i cant. i juz cant. revealing the weakest side to everyone.

asked urself haf u really tried ur best to gain back my trust? nope. disappointment is the only thing i get.

i am tired. really. i dun wan fight or argue anymore. i really dunno wad r u thinking. can u pls think before u act?

all i wan now is juz to be alone and withdraw myself from everyone. i dun wan to face anyone right now. i dun wan to act anymore.

graduation

2010-05-23T22:46:00.003+08:00

okay! after 3 yrs in poly and finally say byebye. 3 yrs juz seem to
pass so fast! gonna miss my frens so much!
L.O.Jz & AHHHS!
life will be meaningless wifout this 2 groups.
alright time for pics! dun complain this is a boring blog wifout pics.

cousin

parents

celebrate lor!

cheers to graduation!

need a break

2010-05-14T23:10:00.003+08:00

i juz lost it for tat moment when i actually teared. i wonder if my dad sees it, i hope he doesnt..

juz less than 5 days we quarrel like 3 times? i am tired of it.. mentally n emotionally drained. i really dunno wad can i do to stop this cycle from repeating n repeating.

i swear i really tried my v best n put in my utmost 201% effort in us but it seems to be getting worst as days go by.

u nvr believe how much & how deep i loved u.
u nvr believe anything that i says.
u nvr trust me.
u nvr see the effort i put in becox to u think is a must.

u r the only & only reason tat can affects my mood yet till now u still dunno abt it

i am really tired.. i need a break..

updates

2010-05-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

okay sat was totally embarrassing cox me & my sis was totally so bhb to camwhore in the public in front of so many strangers~ pls refer to my fb or my sis fb. jitao use the microphone right in front of the room, take balloons la, take flower la, whole bouquet la.. (ALL THE IDEAS R FRM MY SIS) anyway sat is my uncle & aunt 20th wedding anniversary.

anyway have been training on tues & fri for the preparation for nationals. haf to keep in my mind tat my target is another 21-0. allen the sparring contract is still on.

today is another BLACK monday. oh gosh~ 50 indians at one shot. TMD~ -faints- burst 5 blood vessels. stand the whole day :( so damn tiring. my nxt off day is fri!

anyway i think i owe alot of pple meet ups.

1) newbies bunch of NS boys. oh well i am joining them soon but 3 of them is gg to ROD soon~ still havent celebrate 3 bdays yet

2) J.P.G

3) chil jang outing although i dun belong to their pattern team

4) L.O.Jz drinking session

i am brokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee T_T looking forward to payday.. is like only 1week of may n i am broke! moolah~ i need tonnes tonnes tonnes of moolah!!!

seriously praying hard on my TP. let me pass plssss!

stressed out

2010-05-05T02:43:00.002+08:00

went training as usual due to preparation for nationals. after tat went to supper at railmail wif L.O.Jz after tat went bowling! it has seriously been quite a while when i last bowled.

sometimes having some seniors who understand u tat well is great. even no solutions r being offered, at least u know that they are there for u. they know ur probs n know tat u r under some lots of invisible stress. they r there to chat wif u and console u. thanx mdm xy! =D

i wish i wish n i wish i am not an emotional person so that my mood wont affect my work performance tat much.

monday BLACK

2010-04-27T11:26:00.002+08:00

oh man is another monday! sry for the lack update~ was kind of busy wif work n training! and yeappies! i am back to tkd training. FIRSTLY, gonna jian fei to maintian my 28 waist! SECONDLY, toughen my calf muscles its getting flabby :( LASTLY, WAHAHAHA! =) of cox will be fighting for nationals! hope will get my 5th gold in a row :) AND LAOPA BOUGHT ME A BLACK BELT GEE! i was so shocked la! and wif my name embroidered on it! and tat will be an indirect order to get a black belt. but still thank you laopa! :)

oh well back to work. really is bth indians ttm until i bwgs. i am not being racist but they r really very dumb.

1) they fail their maths or shld i say they dun teach maths in india. when u ask them how many pple do they haf? they will count 1,2,3,4... ALOT la. then in the end come in only 6 pple =.= and other case is we gt 12 but in the end 18 pple go in! BLOODY SHIT! cont to second point

2) to them their kids r not human, i dunno they r wad. when they say they gt 12 when they haf 18, we will ask the other 6 to wait for the next ride. they say WHY! nvm! kids dun count! we will give WTF face. so they r not human? they persuade us say nvm they can sit on my lap or sit in btw the 2 seats. -_- ask ur father buy the USS then say lah. rules also not we set

3) they dun bring their brains out or do they even haf one. they ask seriously stupid ques until really wan to laugh at them. does the dragon goes inside the water? IS LIKE SO WTF! can i q for express but they only bought regular tix.

4) their eng too chim for us to understand. mon came a GWD (guest with disability), ask if the wheelchair bound old lady can walk anot, if able to walk we dun need so mafan set up a ramp for her. the reply? very little. i was like HUH! wtf is very little? is either can walk or cannot walk wad. -.- omg -faints- dunno how to communicate wif indian lah. I GIVE UP!

tats why no more monday blues cox it will be a monday BLACK frm now onwards. totally suck when i see 一片黑暗 it certainly dampen my mood.

oh n my love letter from CMPB havent arrive yet! waiting waiting waitingggggg~ n still no news frm NUS, NTU, SIT yet anyway also give up hope liao lah. suddenly wan get into SIT, cox can go LAS VEGAS FOR INTERN!! LAS VEGAS LEH! the city of sin~ oh gosh~ but well think i juz settle for SIM bah.

Lesson from the streets are definitely more valuable and precious from school but it also definitely more harsh. Because it gives u painful downfall before it gives u a lesson. to my sis. sth is so wrong but sometimes is juz so difficult to say. we havent been toking for weeks. perhaps is juz work.

shucks

2010-04-20T22:57:00.004+08:00

oh gosh today came a grp of ahnehs which burst a few blood vessels of mine. jitao bwgs them! y they so stupid one sia! i seriously wondering do they haf a brain anot! omgs~

1) ask me eh do ur roller coaster go inside the water? IS LIKE WTF! come on la u think my roller coaster run on solar energy or wind energy? bloody hell is run on electricity leh! touch water = electrocuted liao lehs! really is stupid to the max sia! yea la will go inside water la. go inside become blue colour! WATER DRAGON! den after tat become black dragon lah cox all chao ta already! stupid shit~

2) can u seriously dun force ur child into the coaster ride. First ur kid dun like jiu dun force la. y muz force him ride sia i really is dun understand. 2) waste everyone time including guests who r waiting for u. 3) pls make up ur mind before entering the attraction.

anyway kind of promised the gang i will stayed on till i enlisted. oh well gonna keep my promise! if not mdm is so gg to kill me!

nationals? fighting or not? hmmm.. like i said if i am fighting, i will be fighting for my 5th gold medal! so i am so gg to train some fking hard shit. allen i remember wad u say so i will remember ur words.

my laptop is back but ALL MY DATA GONE! fuck! my sparring clips & songs.. shit man!

i am turning to a bookworm. seriously. dorkness is filling inside me! i juz cant stop myself from reading books!

wad am i suppose to do?

side note

2010-04-18T23:12:00.002+08:00

okay i didnt went to phuture after all! :( well it kind of postponed.

in order to serve my guests better, i need to learn few kind of languages.

1) thai. oh man the gals r simply cute to the max! the only word i know is cup cup cup cup cup! HAHAHAHA

2) jap. konichiwa! okays i only know tat.

3) cantonese! this china pple mafan one!

4) tamil! CCB TOK TO AHNEH REALLY IS BUEY TAHAN ONE! they keep shaking their head say yes yes okay okay but still dunno doing wad! IDIOTS!

most troublesome bunch one is obviously the indians. i am nt being racists but they r indeed difficult to handle.

life is a bitch

2010-04-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

life suck totally to the max when everything is not going accordingly to ur way!

1) black listed by ur superior really is gg-fied. accidentally 'offended' him den jitao black listed then do everything is nth to him, when spot ur 'mistake' HUAT ah~

2) my laptop up lorry! VERY IRRITATED PISSED SAD! no more pps for me! i wan my show~ i wan my tkd vids~ my songssss~ FUCK LAHHHSSSS!!!! T.T

other than tat everything is well i suppose! sweet sweet love wif my gf :) n colleagues love me like hell! AHAHAHA!!

oh n sat i gg phuture! =D wif my cousins? is like so -.- first is my sis n now is whole bunch of cousins! my family is so pawnage~

bookworm

2010-04-11T00:41:00.003+08:00

omg omg omg! call me a nerd, dork, geek or bookworm! i am so addicted to reading!!! almost finishing the house night series already! 5.75 books already, juz left another 1/4 to go!

Marked. Betrayed. Chosen. Untamed. Hunted. Tempted. Burned will be next but still not out yet! :( meanwhile i gonna choose some other books to curb my bookworm-ness! and guess wad! i bought 10 books at one shot! HUAT! $130++ entire anne rice series!

i am waiting for my payslip~ another 2 -3k weeks!!! :( :( :( i need MOOLA!! hard cold cash!

stupid

2010-04-06T23:18:00.002+08:00

alamak today i make such a scene out of myself!! during the opening of my attraction, i accidentally hit on the EMERGENCY BUTTON! is like so omfg de stupid sia~ omgs!!

work today is just so pek chey to the max!! omfgs lah! buay tahan those guest one lehs! walan~ they dun dig their ears or they dun haf ears at all? knn say pls put ur bags on the shelf like 5 times? they jitao still 1) refuse to take their bags off 2) insists on taking their bags 3) put on their lap 4) carry on the front 5) put beside on the empty seat n jitao push down the restrain bar! JITAO BWGS! fed-up pek chey!

got 1 ahneh walan eh is really no brain 1 de leh! ask me eh can go i express q? (obviously he got the regular tix) den still ask me how can i go express q? FUCKING NO BRAIN! bwgs~

ahtiong also ninahbei tmd de idoit. ask u put bag jiu put bag dun argue.

and u richie assholes ask u wear ur shades jiu wear or put inside ur bag. dun wan listen still argue waste our time! fine lor next time i will only say 1 time. den at the end of day ur shades fly off is u all de taiji. sooner or later i will be having lelong sale! burberry, LV, chanel, gucci shades for sale! cheap cheap $50 per shades.

k enuff of ranting liaos. so is nationals still on my list? really is still pending... =/

so near yet so far. is juz so complicating. dun keep on saying i have changed when u urself have changed too.

2nd week of work

2010-04-03T23:12:00.002+08:00

okay i been signed off at King Julien's Beach Party-Go-Round. the attraction is juz a merry-go-round. more slack compared to EAW but cfm much more energy consuming. cox the OCC had to go round n round to chk the exit doors r locked and those pple seat beats r fastened. cfm drop weight! :) maintain my slim figure! HAHAHA!=)

my nxt off will be nxt fri! is like so omfgwtf de long sia! and will be working 6 days for 2 weeks! i hope i am gg to see some nice fig on my pay slip at this end of the mth! yippee! dollar signs r so gg to appear on my eyeballs! $.$ (my face when i see the pay slip! I HOPE!)

it is juz totally awful when u gonna fake out a smile when u r totally not in a great mood, sucks totally esp when u r paid to smile juz like a clown without the make up. noise will juz travel tgt wif me whenever i go, esp in the break room? immediately the whole place will juz turn into a fish market and everyone will be laughing happily even though i am the target board. but jus how long can i cont to pretend till the facade actually wear off or i juz become too simply tired..? i juz wan to cont be the happy go lucky guy who makes every1 laugh their asses out whenever i crack a joke or make a stupid fool out of myself..

why is it so hard to juz live the happily ever after.. maybe perhaps is juz a myth afterall.. yeap is my fault tat lead to every single shit of this.. i shouldnt break up wif u in the very beginning if not we will already be tgt for 3 yrs. fyi the break up doesnt only cause a huge impact on u. pls stop thinking i am enjoying my life after i broke up wif u. i cant live without u and is a fact unless u have died on me.

sometimes getting drunk or being intoxication is one good thing. cox is the only time u can laugh at urself openly. laugh at ones stupid mistakes or things tat u have done n regret horribly. tats y drinking is good =)

so when is my nxt drinking session lehs? hmm.. gonna chk on my schedule. pls note drinking session is not clubbing session

i wan to be happy. is tat really difficult?

misses

2010-03-29T22:06:00.002+08:00

man i starting to miss alot of stuffs.. i miss gg out wif AHHS after my classes.. roam ard bugis n orchard.. tats when i starting to know how orchard is like n how to navigate ard town area.. anyway till now i still not quite how to walk ard orchard though =x hahaha.. rich pple area.. nt my kind of place :(

i miss gg for training, sweat & pant like a dog.. i miss my jpg n the seniors.. i miss one whole grp of pple kicking the hell out of one n other.. i miss sun training.. followed by 'family outing'

to sum up.. i am juz not used to the current state.. EMPLOYED rather than student. so tired everyday after work macham wan to die.. once reach home jiu hit the sack n fight the Z monster. still have to adapt to my current life. nationals? grading? guess i kind of need set aside.. also no time go for training..

MY MUM IS GONNA STOP GIVING ME POCKET MONEY!!!!!!!!! :( :( i am so going to argue wif her! at least wait till i go army mahhhh hehehehe! at least bargain until 200 bucks =x

anyway results kind of disappointing.. hais.. study so hard also no A.. nahbei kns! n worst of all my fyp only got a C+ la! ccb knn nb pubor mofo die in hell lah! hmmm kai kan liao la.. choosing either SIT or SIM bahs!

Enchanted Air Ways

2010-03-25T22:02:00.002+08:00

yos pple! i am back! work really is very tired to the max! i dun haf any extra energy to do any stuff but only an urge to hit my bed right after work :( is really very tiring~

for mon - wed i am still labeled as trainee. but well i managed to sigh off as a casual on wed afternoon though meaning i am no longer a trainee and have to do stuffs alone. gosh hate solo playas lah! so boring! sigh off within an hr jiu gt cheated by customer liao T.T nahbei sai lah! hate dao my leaders kanna.. T.T so freaking guilty.. dun like to drag other pple cox is my fault :(

anyway work scope? basically u juz haf to smile at every person who u see. easy huh? try tat for 8hrs and u will juz end up like the joker.

working shift starts from being the Unloader (unload guests frmthe coaster) to OCC (omgs i forgot the full name but is the chief operation command centre sth like headquarters) to Loader (load guest into the coaster) to Grouper (pairing gues tand move them to the gates) finally to Greeter ( simple job juz haf to smile at guests and ask them to try the ride)

working environment is certainly fun to the max! everyone is like so crazy~ haha yeap! and they r now influenced by me n wt's jiao-ness & our special language. huats!

wierd feeling. sry if i have neglected u

Whataya Want From Me

2010-03-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me
Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I will let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)
that baby you're beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
(nothing wrong with you)
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)
but thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
(it perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Just don't give up on me
(uuuuuuh) I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down

(So hey) just don't give up
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in,
I won't let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, i won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me

Universal Studio

2010-03-17T22:05:00.004+08:00

induction is finally over n today head over to Universal Studio Singapore in Sentosa Resort World. starting was another induction conducted by an angmoh.

after lunch went for a park tour. it wasnt as big as expected but the rides are sure enuff to occupy 1 full whole day if u were to take all the rides. and i get to ride one of the ride! the mummies! the whole coaster ride 60% will be in dark. still quite okay la 3/5. i aiming for the red & blue coaster ride aka Battlestar Galactica! weeteck this fker sibei hum, scared almost pee in his pants while gg for the coaster ride. after park tour we went to tried our clothes on. n there is no fking size for me -_- my shirt jitao L size macham wear blouse n my pants is 32 while my normal is 28. is like so wtf lah! those pple keep insisit is okay juz nice =.= but bo bian sia.. no stock for other sizes.

after tat went to the designated section. i will be located under far far away (shrek). okay i am already famous in the whole break room as the i/cs already know my name n jitao all call me 鸟人 sia.. omgs gd job rahs! then one of the i/c took me for another free ride in The Lost World, the canopy ride sibei no kick but weeteck kanna ball shrink again.

anyway there is 7 themes. New York, Sci-fi, Ancient Egypt, The Lost World, Far Far Away, Madagascar, Hollywood.

okay. i am so fking tired. blisters + aching back + sore calves + shag to the max earn me 15hrs of slp! nights peeps!

back to sp

2010-03-17T00:34:00.003+08:00

ever since 12/3/2010 i can considered myself grad frm sp! D&D was kind of... fun? after tat went to partyworld KTV @ the verage which is located at little india. is like so omgs~

anyway 2day i went back sp for tkd training. main thing is to see my laopa n get my sparring vids. the feeling was kind of weird, as if i am juz a passer-by or a stranger visiting sp, juz felt like i dun belonged to sp anymore. didnt like the feeling at all but well i guess i could only get used to it.

training was like only... 几只小猫 kind of disappointing though. but well all i can say is nowadays not many pple haf a burning passion in their cca anymore, been as a com knew their probs. sad to say we cant do much.

certainly it brought back 3yrs of memories. 1st training i tried to fake as a stranger to this sptkdc but no avail. in the end still kanna find out i am nxj's bro. and this aht takan me. joined this cca wif weekee n duli. double promotion for 1st grading. starting to attend sun's training. force to join IVP for the first time for pattern even though my interest is in sparring. got to know ahfat n mdm xy cox they were my pattern coaches. plus aht already starting to coaching me fo sparring n tats y me n those seniors r so close!

got inside the com as a vice cap. after lost the IVP n got a 'talking' cum 'shooting' session. got to know mdm geargina. gt KO-ed by AHT n was admitted to NUH. after tat phobia of sparring. but recovered within 1 or 2 mths. joined mdm geargina extra training. den those 3rd yrs buay song got quite into a mess. finally weeks n it ended n when sir zz joined the sptkdc family. anyway i was a super big targetboard in the com, almost all dun like me to the max, or i shld use the word 'hate'. anyway i dun give a shit. then joined PA & nationals. jb was my coach for PA n aht for nationals. well both lost in my 1st match. i train so blooody fking hard like 5 trainings week. other pple was like aiya train so hard still lose, wad for train? fk them. no doubt i was feeling super failure but aht was there. he didnt give up on me! my most beloved shifu aka laopa!

train some super duper hard for IVP 2009. was so freaking scared to lose AGAIN. tats where i earned my 1st gold. so proud to say i TKO-ed my first opp (NTU) and i cleared NTU, TP, NUS cox these 3 schs r well known for their fighters. proceed on to CKS winning my 2nd gold medal. went to brown belt for nationals. my 3rd gold medal. didnt really perform for my 1st match but 2nd match was so super proud! 21-0!!! but one thing is tat my opp dun really know how to fight.

latest com will be IVP 2010 n i juz saw my vids. finally understood wad msg is my sis trying to bring across. i also think i fking guai lan and poor display of sportsmanship LOL! sry for displaying such super duper poor performance for my first mag. i been out for action for a mth or so due to injury & exam. 2nd match was slightly better but i still think i can get more points CAUSE I DIDNT FIGHT AT ALL DURING THE LAST 1MIN 30 SEC =x no wonder aht so pissed =x

anyway for this IVP2010 i guess not only me myself are disappointed in my performance. i guess whole of SPTKDC, mdm xy, aht & my sis too. sry guys for the disappointing performance. give me a time period to consider abt fighting nationals, if i fight. i make another 21-0 match. BUT OF COX NEED TRAIN LAH! walan no train go fight really is jitao wan die. fight like a dog sia! 3rd round jitao no stamina AT ALL.

ANYWAY! i gonna upload some pics taken @ taiwan to my fb n blog. n dunno why my kinabula pics in my fb r missing, gonna re-upload them too. OH! and stay tuned for my adventures in universal studio!

so tired.. struggling n fading.. still holding strong..

IVP 2010 (ending)

2010-03-08T01:00:00.006+08:00

okay finally done wif IVP 2010. i guess this yr performance is somehow similar to last yr. 2 gold medals n 1 silver medal! but well i expected 3 GOLD medals.. mr chu mu yen? is okay lah! at least u made an improvement frm last yr! nxt yr! win gold okay? gt high expectation from u!

me & sis

sis & me & dad

mushroom! ex pres & ex vice-cap

SIS

mdm xy aka senior member of L.O.J.z

SHIFU!! AKA LAOPA!!

k i conclude tat i might be fighting for Nationals and i kind of regret tat i didnt take part in CKS!! ARGH~ DAMN DAMN DAMNNNNNNNN! leg is kind of itchy when i see 2day matches.. my matches was awful :( cox this time gold medal is kio tio sai. didnt train for 1 mth due to injury & exams. stamina wasssssssssss gone case to the max. luckily got exp! phew~ IF IF IF i am gg to fight for nationals for my last brown belt competition, damn i am so gg to be training like mad. i wan to another 21-0 or KO (my shifu's wish)

will be gg for the nxt grading for my black tip. gs tgt ah!

nxt yr medalistS i hope to see - YONG MING HAO, Miss Seah (as usual), ong jin wei, xiong yishun, jun hua(train hard n u will win), zhuang yong

IVP 2010

2010-03-06T23:50:00.002+08:00

k wads over is over.. my poly life has come to end. exams and tournament. juz hope tat this sem my results will be so much better compared to last time cox this time i really put in alot of efforts to study! :(

IVP 2010 congrats to gs for her bronze! and i gt another gold! yippee! missed & didnt train for a mth, managed to heng heng pick up a gold. ahaha all thanx to ding qi and keli.

1st rd 2-2 sudden death win. cold feet, performance lvl was way low n sucky. really is shitty performance. 2nd rd already start panting like a dog liao. totally no form at all! :( guess everyone was worried sick abt me, esp my sis. heard sptkdc's cheering too. seriously tot i will lose but eventually lady luck shines on me! hahaha! oh n my dad came n watch my first match.

2nd 10-0 even though performance lvl did pick up but still it wasnt still my usual form :( argh! 师父！！我对不起你啊！！but hor really is freaking de tired.. 3rd round really is no energy wan give up liao.. godss!

dunno why but this yr de ivp very no feel. not only juz sparring but everything else.. i guess is time to retire! hahaha! need to nurse my wounds.. my back :( had a bad fall during 2nd match. heard frm my sis n NUS peeps tat i am v arrogant while sparring. well nth to say but is juz the way i spar. aiya but anyway this shld my last competition le.. so if left a bad impression.. AIYO! i v gulity like lehs.. juz feel so bad. hais. oh and sudden death is damn thrilling! my heart nearly pop out lah! gosh~

thanx to sptkdc! wifout u all cheering i seriously think i cant make it. YONG MING HAO! I REMEMBER! NAHBEIS! HAHAHAHAH!

师父! my pillar of support & confidence. 2day if u no coach i think i cfm hoseh

mdm xy! despite hangover! hahahaha

sis! i know u cheer very loud!

one funny thing is i didnt know 1 match was 2mins until the last match of the whole day. NO WONDER SO FKING TIRED LAH!

menopause

2010-02-28T20:31:00.005+08:00

okay. women are scary creatures. plus if they menses comes, guys pls be alert and siam them 100km away. becox u r a walking target board. oh menopause is a greater evolution of menses. not only u become a walking target board, the women will auto aim u. so no matter u siam or hide or anything, u still will kanna.

basically the main issue is my night life. due to the fact i am belonged to the 'Cinderella' group, i need to reach home by 12. so whenever i go clubbing or drinking, most likely i wont return home. and for god sake dunno why do i haf a reputation of CLUBBER & CHONGSTER, i certainly lives up to the name! HAHAHAHA. i am not a HARDCORE clubber or chongster okay! only once in a while..

oh and my sis is being accused of setting a bad example & bad influence which resulting me also becoming like her (which is not true) hence she n my mum got into a fight. wins!

solution to the issue?

isolate and cut all contacts wif all of my current friends who have night activities? DAMN! TAT IS SO FKING IMPOSSIBLE! haiyo also dunno lah!

nowadays where got 19++ 12 go home de.. SO NERD~ -faints- juz so difficult to explain to my mum lah :( and i felt so sry to implicate my sis too.. juz wads wrong wif night life.. also not 5 out of 7 days lor~ at most once every week mah OOPS =x JK!! is once a mth lah...

LIFE IS SHITTY BORING WITHOUT NIGHT LIFE! cheers to clubbing n drinking!

oh anyway thurs will be clubbing for the first time @ zirca. huats!

REBELLION THUR in ZIRCA.

Pres. your tertiary student passes for FREE ENTRY BEFORE 12MN & 1-FOR-1 ALL NIGHT!

anyway L.O.J.z mobilization! new additional member will be joining us! wahahahaha! an expected ones somemore~

oh oh n my books have arrived.. shall indulge myself in world of friction! I DO READ BOOKS OKAYS!

Universal Studio

2010-02-27T17:51:00.004+08:00

okay some juz quick update again!

plans for march, april, may, june to enlistment have changed!!! i guess not much clubbing n partying or travelling anymore!!! :( :( :(

CAUSE I AM WORKING IN THE IR FOR UNIVERSAL STUDIO! pple who go for the theme ride remember to find me! oh look for the the 'super nice' green costume i will be wearing!

poor pple like me haf to work :( crappp~ need earn lotsss of money!!

2 more papers to freedom! thurs last paper n after tat.. REBEL/ZIRCA w00ts!

L.O.J.z havent forgotten the promise! wait for my news! =)

CNY

2010-02-21T23:44:00.003+08:00

some short update!

HAPPY CNY TO EVERYONE!!

stay healthy!
wealth come come!
everyday smile smile smile!
may wishes come true!!

okay 2 test down n 4 exams more to go! AND GOOD BYE SP! and say hello to green ic -_- gosh~ NS!!

march is the mth for PARTYYYYYYYY
april is the mth for travellinggggggg
may is the mth for relaxxxx ( & waiting to be enlisted)

PLS LET ME GET INTO UNI!!

League of Jianz

2010-02-13T03:23:00.003+08:00

this post is officially for League of Jianz. is really glad to have them in my life. fyi to those pple who dunno wads does L.O.J.z stands, pls read the entry title. it is a very impt grp of pple in my life.

to my laopa, u always act so dao. cant u show more care n concern to me! haiyo!
to mdm, thanx so much for ur advices and ur lending ear. really need it alot.
to ahfat, always bully me T.T -cries loud loud-

it was only juz barely 12 hours after i post my blog entry and i recevied a sms frm mdm. 'wan drink ah?' a simple ques juz touched me. they are always there for me. oh juz another info, drinking is our way of communication. HAHAHAHAHA

thanx pple.. i am feeling much better.. i know my limits so dun wry! =D my liver is still very healthy! pinkish red colour! still no sign of turning grey or black! hehehe

anyway thanx to my gay partner! mr goh wee teck aka ahbui. i know this whole week u listen to my sighing for like 1000000 millions times already. thanx for ur accompany. really i need it too. if nt i really will get into depression. to repay u! i make sure the 5 days in march u cfm play till song song! HAHAHAHAHA i steady ons u!

anyway supper @ changi. omgs ish welly de far siol~ after tat went to changi beach be4 ahfat starting to scare me wif ghost stories again~ and and we stayed there ard an hour plus? THEY IS KEEP WAN TO LEAVE ME ALONE AND RUN AWAY LAHSSSSS! bloody hell! after tat we went to see ahgua. wahkao fking scarys~

home sweet home~ my sickly sis waited for me! hahaha best sis lahs :) always nvr fail to open the door for me when she is at home! oops~ anyway my mum seemed abit pissed off!

anyway happy cny to everyone! and sweet sweet vday for the couples!

learning in progress

screwed

2010-02-11T23:52:00.002+08:00

seriously i didnt expect it.

sry for not being thoughtful enough
sry for not being caring enough
sry for not being the guy u wan me to be

seriously i tot u dun mind it at all, it juz slip off my mind.

the gifts were fabulous.

it juz didnt went the way i wan it to be. i dunno why did this happen.

u were the only thing tat can make my mood swing. i told u many millions, billions times and u dun believe. u wont and u will nvr. i simply dun get it. i just dun get it.

why is it so difficult to make u believe u were the only thing tat affects my mood.
why is it so difficult to make u believe i was in love wif u ever since tat day u came n find me.
why is it so difficult to make u believe tat u was always had a position in my heart.
why is it so difficult to make u believe my heart only had u and only u.
why is it so difficult to make u believe that i nvr ever wan to leave u.
why is it so difficult to make u believe that i really love u.

i gave or share everything i ever had.
my family & my friends.

i know i am a total failure. i am sry.

oh man L.O.J.z i really need a drink. fuck the exam period.

well shall make do wif myself. on the rock.

my love for u is deep and meaningless

deep and meaningless

2010-02-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

- Rooster

recovered

2010-02-04T21:38:00.003+08:00

i am fit zai! recovered frm my fever! though still having flu n bad throat :( my CSW job interview did quite good i guess! hehehe! i am tok cock king! currently B+ i still hope i can get A though cox the first term test i did quite badly due to written test :(

anyway i couldnt study at home! i think tml,sat & sun will be out studying at je library. last sem le gonna chong for the test! this time for real i guess? tml ahbui will be accompanying me though. oh btw this asshole 2day sibei random msg n lisiao me. in the end i called back n we chatted for 30mins! SOOO GAY!!!!!!!!!!!! n thanx for spoiling my mood to study -.- gd job sia~

Plans after exams

currently : 24-28th march (booked by mr goh weeteck if he is serious)
so far i gt... ard 5 grad trips? OMFGWTFBBQ!! where gt so much $$$$
wif mum & sis - bangkok
goh weeteck - bangkok (if he is serious)
class - snorkelling
AHHHS - taiwan (pending)
L.O.J.z - unknown (pending)

sick

2010-02-03T22:10:00.004+08:00

i am sick~ :( fever + flu.. everytime fallen ill just right before exam periods :( and both my sis n mum went overseas T.T plus my sis took my ipod touch away! missessss my ipod touch's songs and games.. my mum will be buying corden bleu for me! wahahahahah!!

anyway my class pple jitao siao liao~ all starting to use my pet phrase~ GOOD JOB~ SHIT~ all is anyhow spammmmm!

went to orchard ion to buy my formal shirt + tie for tml CSW's job interview. $80+ huat! my only formal shirt couldnt button up COX I HAF A FAT NECK! :(

test - CNY - exams - IVP

busy busy busy busy busy busy busy... but after IVP i think i will go crazy liao.

first time to do after grad is to discuss wif my mum abt my future plan.. is getting me a real big headache!

done wif 海派甜心! now going for 就想赖着你，神话，下一站幸福!

thinking thru

2010-02-01T18:59:00.002+08:00

went for a jog to sort my thinking out..

firstly my injuries are still nt yet fully recovered :( i seriously hope my injuries will fully recover before IVP! i wan my 4th gold medal in a row~ my ankles are quite bad, both ankles. my right knee seem weak too :(

secondly today uni application is open. i guess i am the only loser who doesnt knows anything abt it until jo told me~ till now she is still acting like my secretary! hahaha. so dun feel like applying cox i can already foresee the result - rejected. everyone is asking me to give it a try except tat fker mr goh wee teck. but well actually i gt the same thinking as him. like wad he say 要有自知自明 yea truely. and application fee is like 10bucks! throwing 10bucks down to the drain lehs! the only way i can enter NUS is like thru this DISCRETIONARY ADMISSION and i believed ahbui has a higher chance than me cox he is in TEAM SINGAPORE whereas i am in TEAM SINGAPORE POLY. (notice there is an extra word) i seriously think tat this discretionary admission is bullshit put shuang only cox i nvr really heard from other pple entering the uni via discretionary admission. and i simply see the word 'discretionary' damn bu shuang.

thirdly i blame myself for my low GPA. do i really wan to go to uni? my ans is no. i juz simply HATE studying.. why do i still wan to get into uni den? all cox of my mum.. or shall is juz for my own future? does tat stupid degree paper worth tat much? i juz hate this world for judging everything on the appearance. this world is juz fking materialistic, hate it to the max. study hard = bright future? is this really 100% true?

HAISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~

3 days

2010-01-19T00:25:00.003+08:00

一公尺
歌:言承旭

餐桌两边黑咖啡冒着烟
曲折翻腾的弧线模糊了双眼
你习惯没变手指头敲打着玻璃杯
一整夜不曾看我一眼

那条项炼软弱摊在眼前
亲手系上的思念被你放了线
空荡的胸前是他准备要接手的世界
专程来告别连再见都心不在焉

你在一公尺不到的面前
手拼命挥还是往下坠
眼神那么绝冻结一切不让我挽回

我在一公尺之外的世界
一辈子回不了的原点
我这才发现你离我有多么远

餐桌两边没交集的情节
看着你度日如年等我说再见
你神情没变把距离扩大的好遥远
一公尺就好像一万个光年

你在一公尺不到的面前
手拼命挥还是往下坠
眼神那么绝冻结一切不让我挽回

我在一公尺之外的世界
一辈子回不了的原点
我这才发现你离我有多么远

你在一公尺不到的面前
手拼命挥还是往下坠
眼神那么绝冻结一切不让我挽回

我在一公尺之外的世界
一辈子回不了的原点
我这才发现你离我有多么远
我只有成全让你离开我身边

so near yet so far..

thurs fri sat sun

2010-01-17T20:38:00.003+08:00

Thurs

outing wif AHHHS! lunch @ just acia after tat catch a movie. Jump. okokay bah.. 2.5/5 after tat we went dinner @ the sizzler. fking full sia and the price is huat de exp! i am sooo broke liaos~ after tat ahhuan suggest go Harry's Bar. jitao is 1 drunkard char boh. chill, tok cock as usual. and oh man we r grad soon! wonder will we still be like this after we grad?

Fri

Napfa. GOLD! 28points! :( aiming for 30 pts tats y so late then book.. standing broadjump & 2.4 4 points! sians~ my 2.4 juz need 1 sec faster jiu 5 points liao lor! is waliew de sians! and heard a super funny joke frm charles abt azri. after tat went fc 5 see them train. wah alot of pple came for the training! very good!

thanx to liwei for helping me wif the pull ups
B.I.R.D aka ahtiong for accompanying me go pioneer stadium run & gym
sis for ur mp3 pouch (even though is i kope de =x)

Sat

came back to the training grd ard 4+ joined 1 training session and i cmi liao~ ish sibei de tired siol! went out for dinner/supper and came back. jitao cannot slp. frm 1am lie to 5am. reason? cox macham got F1 racing inside the T2266. ni nah bei jitao every1 snoring and i was juz slping nxt time ahfat. HUAT AH~ dun need slp liao! macham 1 lambo beside me racing ard the tracks sia.. ZOOOM~ ZOOOOM~ ZOOOOOM~ ZOOOOOOM~ and a few cars going in circle vroom vroooom~ jitao slp at 5! after tat some bloody idoit alarm clock ring at 7+ THEN DUN WAN OFF IT! KNN NI NAH BEI IDOIT! and ahfat wake up early go nxt rm watch black hawk down. can hear alot of gun shooting here n there. dun need slp liao! huat~

Sun

my laopa aka Mr Ang H.T. is giving a lecture on tkd sparring techniques! after tat sparring session. 3rd round pronounced me as pai ka~ pain pain painful~ my first meal of the day - breakfast + lunch + high tea + dinner @ Kuishinbo!

and to my sis if u r reading my blog we havent seen each other for 3 weeks liao. i need u to accompany me go buy some new year stuffs. a pair of bottoms (levis jeans?), berms, a pair of shoes! msg me hor if u see this side note!

ubin

2010-01-10T19:31:00.003+08:00

2day is AHT's 'relac' training session 2 after the holi. really is relac sia, after warm up jitao is wan to die liao lor.. w00ts! i think i am getting the feeling back man! shiok-ness.. quad-aple X 2 but well is on a free frag padding.. at least better than nth okay!

someone nvr come for training sia.. and tat someone put big big on his/her blog tat he will nvr use fyp and skip training.. sch juz start 2 weeks nia den skip liao! haiyoyo! disappointment lehs.. this teach us hor.. nxt time dun be so confident and write sth post at blog.. cox we cant never predict the future..

KANNA DRAG to ubin.. ps ah bui AGAIN.. sryyyyyyy! =x meet u on tues lah.. do abit on catching up..

2day nvr tok much.. everyone tot i am emoing... shit~ i cannot be quiet mehs?! okay lah not really emo la... moody nias~

u r always affecting my mood

injuries

2010-01-09T00:49:00.003+08:00

injuries injuries and still injuries.. always prone to injuries.. ever since during sec sch life after becoming semi-pro sports player i have been accumulating injuries. frm ankles, to thigh, spine, back, wrist and even neck!

pple is accumulate wealth but for my case... is to accumulate injuries sia~ so far my ankles and my back r still injured. oh and for the first time both my knee are giving me probs.. k 1 more add to the injury list.

well well i shall start to train up my basics. right turning kick, left turning kick, slide in, slamming, backthrust. lets juz start by doing the right way of kicking and then followed up by accuracy. TIME IS RUNNING OUT!! meanwhile shan't neglect my double, triple, quad-ple. GOLD MEDAL HERE I COME!! NTU NUS TP U ALL DIE DIE DIE! =x =x =x

tml demo! let us do our best! =)

hotshot

2010-01-03T22:31:00.004+08:00

2day training was...... RELAC. my smallest little toe gt 1 super big blister. shit~ train hard for IVP! injuries still everywhere~ :( :( :( GOLDDDDD MEDALLLLLLL!!!

after tat fyp. my laptop jitao died on me! GOOD JOB LAH! not 100% done yet sia.. omgssss~ crap! mircosoft words jitao cannot save... this term dun need do tutorials n projects liao lor! HUAT!

2day is a very shag day~ last night drinking jitaoooooo is SEH-NESS~ lie on bed NVR BATHE n slp! =x =x seriously fucking tired.. their chill out session sibei hiong de sia! anyway is very chilling cox we went eski bar. wah kao damn cold siol~ i think weeteck will like tat place very much. mr goh wee teck shall we go there chill chill??

anyway i watch finish hotshot!! i know i damn wols~ but no time sia! jerry still damn shuai! HAHAHAHA! waiting his nxt drama wif ella! and tat COCO JIANG YI (蒋怡) wahhhh~ chio + hot to the max... see her legs~ SEXY 霹雳腿!

next drama海派甜心!

2010

2010-01-02T02:21:00.004+08:00

hello people! is 2010 already! OH SHIT! cox i cannot say i am 19 anymore? i am 20! a '2' in front~ oh no!!! older as the day goes by! BUT WADEVER! i still have a face of 16! HEHEHE!

new year resolutions!

1) IVP 2010 gold medal. GONNA START TRAINING XTRAAAA HARD!
2) GPA 3.0 pls pls plsssssss
3) stay happy. esp wif my dear. no matter how long we will last, we shall remain as a sweet, lovely and happy couple =)

reflections
1) AHHS is a family of friends. though now we are in a separate class, whenever we r tgt, we r still as close as real siblings
2) League Of JianZ is like a family. 3 seniors r juz like my parents. guiding and giving me advices on these 2.5 years. Cheering me up whenever i am sad or feeling down. juz 1 drinking request from me, laopa n mdm will immediately start a msn conversation and go find where to drink DUE TO FUCKING AGE LIMIT. well impossible drag them go gina place drink right? and ahfat who nvr really join us for drinking session, we sometimes still have our weekly sun 'family' outing. juz the 4 of us.
3) Newbies is the band of brothers. frm sec sch till now and i hope we still can cont.
4) being the youngest son in the family, i am showered wif care n pampered wif love. i love my family, seriously, every single one of them.
5) my gf of cox. miss lew ying tong. lose u once and found u back. nvr gonna lose u again. :)

sry being MIA for the past few days. i were with my gf. and i saw ah mui 2 times in 3 days! HAHAHA! caught sherlock holmes n treasure hunter. await sherlock holmes 2! treasure hunter was utterly disappointing n was kind of boring~ but still.. cheers for jay chou!! JAY CHOU! DUN SLACK! WAITING FOR UR ALBUM LA!!! :( :( :( waiting for another film of his - 青峰侠!

skipped family gathering n countdown wif tkd pple.. AWWW~ I MISS TWO DRINKING SESSION!!! GOSH~ nvm! follow shifu.. healthy lifestyle... cut down drinking.. hehehe..

went to play L4D 2 wif my eldest sis.. was kind of boring wifout the shouting n screaming though.. but well i still left 1 more mission tat i havent completed yet.

u r my best xmas gift :)

bad bad bad

2009-12-30T00:03:00.002+08:00

2night was one of the worst ever performance.. damn~ i totally dunno wads wrong wif me.. injuries is still not healed.. basic is gone case.. cant even do a single long turning kick not to mention a cui to the max double.. :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

argh~ oh poor minghao met an accident 2day.. dun mean a car accident but slip n fell accident. it was a fking loud 'boom' when he fell down. its so omfgs.. he also memory loss! HAHAHA! another member to the NUH club =x =x

tat chee hong king's tudi waseh~ is improveee dao~ sibei zai siol! really is national youth squad de~ on the other hand.. allen aka chee hong king got trashed by yishun~ LMAO~ yishun so fierce.. i also scared to spar wif both of them liao sia~

seriously gonna buck up man! my 4th gold medal! my last tkd competition~ jiayou!

failed

2009-12-23T23:54:00.001+08:00

hais... very very veryyyyyy sad! failed my driving test again.. fking kerbs.. i would haf passed if i nvr strike kerbs... two times again!! ARGH! faints...

bad bad baddddd moooooood~

tml meeting up wif newbies! xmas countdown!!

singapore

2009-12-22T23:28:00.002+08:00

hello peeps! i am finally back frm taiwan! i know u pple miss me~ AWWWW!!! IS OKAY! I AM BACK!!

gonna do alot of updatessss pics pics picssss~ yea hold on pple! gonna get those pics frm my sis camera first... anyway basically the whole 8 days are shop eat shop eat shop eat~

anyway went for training and.. both my legs r out... meant for a warm up training.. in the end so jia liat... gosh! and and training camp! this ivp i guess wil be my last tkd competition?

xmas xmas xmas!! satan claus is coming to town!!!! outings... meeting up!!! so many stuffs to do!

maybe

2009-12-08T18:10:00.002+08:00

maybe i shldnt be so bothered abt everything

maybe i shldnt be so concerned abt everthing

maybe i shld care lesser

maybe i shld think lesser

maybe the prob lies in me

maybe i expected too much

maybe maybe maybe

it is so torturing

headache

2009-12-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

argh! having a headache since yesterday.. morning driving was okay except very dulan wif indian drivers.. fking nahbei shitheads.. after tat went to the library and my head is splitting open.. this is like the 1st time i having headache wifout drinking.. gosh went back home after 2-3 hrs.. trying to find a cab for an hour and gives up cox not a fking cab is in sight.. took a bus home instead.. oh and is raining fking heavy.. ahtiong say walking is better than running in heavy rain as you will get less drenched. so i heed his adviced and decided to walk. but well i dun see a difference cox i am wet frm head to toe. luckily my backpack is slightly waterproof. walking in the rain certainly brings me back to those sec sch days.. as my sec sch is located in the middle of private properties estates, haf to walk a certain distance before reaching the bus stops.

anyway back to exams.. argh juz fking kill me. i just cant seem to study AT ALL :( this explains my gpa is so low.. NUS is certainly out of the list unless a miracle really happens. shall be looking at uni sim or overseas. but well shant think too much yet.. juz serve the bloody NS first..

oh well looking on the bright side, once exams are over holi will be here. tonnes of stuff to do! dinner wif League of Jianz, taiwan trip wif family, outing wif AHHs, L4D 2 wif mr heng, meet up wif sec sch peeps, tkd training camp (faints), xmas celebration, st james wif shifu, new yr countdown!

League of Jianz, can we go haf a sip after jo's dinner celebration?
Jo, i think i really need a cup coffee more than u do
Heng, ns boy.. apply leave frm ur gf leh.. 1 day is enuff..
Cheryl, pass a msg to Miss C tat true friendship is more precious than love. becox normally thru many incidents, true friendship stands stronger than love. i seriously dun bother abt the comments she make cox i know she truly care for her and she really cherish this friendship. existence and the comments she makes seriously doesnt make any impact in my life.

p.s. bad mood.. dun irritate me.. mr china man i guess u haf to be my punching bag for a while. nvr白疼my 2 gals :)

happening

2009-11-30T16:16:00.004+08:00

haf a long chat wif ahrice, ahtiong , pl & danaya at fc 1.. or shld i say we r gossiping? but gossiping isnt a really correct word. shall make do with '闲聊' okay my eng sux~ so? and yea i am trying my best to use PROPER english while blogging. trying to improve my eng standard ^^ well my eng isnt very good but so? tats de way i am and i am not ashame of it. compared to pple who cant even speak or read chi well, they shld be the one tat feel ashamed. pls take a look at ur skin colour, remember our roots.

so wads de conclusion of the whole chat? my 3 yrs poly life is super happening. other than tkd, drinkings, clubbing, outings wif League of JianZ. actually my class also quite happening even at my boring 3rd yr . shant mention much, all i can say is 清者自清. wad for making a big fuss out of nth when nobody is named? i will say不打自招 and jumping into conclusion without knowing the big picture is 自讨没趣, ended up getting involved. when you found out is all a misunderstanding but yet due to ego-ness, you ended up making some stupid to the max excuses tat makes everybody so awkard. and when is none of ur business yet still wan to get involved to make urself look as mr/miss good is called 多管闲事.

and i found out there are a few potential 红心大奖 and 金马奖 actor/actress out there. they appear to be ur true friends but yet when u turn ur back ard, u will see many knifes & daggers and wow ur back is bleeding like nobody business and can fill pails of blood. to phrase in a nicer way we will call them plastic but in a other way we will juz call them mother fking hypocrites.

DUN WAN TO GET INVOLVED IN ANYTHING, juz wanna pass my 3rd poly yr quietly n peacefully, shld tone down abit after such a happening 2nd poly year. 别把不发威的老虎当病猫. dun cross my path if not i will help you to rearrange ur facial features.

7 papers.. -faints- so looking forward after exams. taiwan, xmas, st james, L4D2 and NEW YEAR! time sure flies! bye 2009 and welcome 2010!

p.s my fridge broke down! my ben & jerry!! both legs r aching too :(

ninja assassin

2009-11-26T22:38:00.004+08:00

watched ninja assassin wif shuang er AND shifu. the show still okay lah.. the stunts r cool and those ninja r even more cool leh! my god~ both samurai n ninja seem to be the only things in japanese culture tat i am interested in. hide in shadow sia macham invis.. better than camo lor~

special thanx to pei chew mui aka chewy aka ah mui! help me buy tix! =x i cut sooooooooooooo many pple sia! but hor if nvr cut shifu will surely kill me.. unlike somebody~ (NOT TAY LAY HUAN) scold me sia.. ARGH!

after tat eat dinner. super hungry.. last meal is at 10.30am. mdm came! had a lil chat. tok abt us grad soon & abit on tkd. mistakes tat we always make but... sound abit~ LOL

aht: see ah tell them so many times liao.. still repeat same mistake
mdm: wad mistake?
aht: tell them liao.. go in jiu dun come out.. always go in come out go in come out
mdm: y go in dun come out? go in in in in insisit on gg in very wierd wad. of cox muz come out
aht: they dun go in enuff.. they wan go in dun wan go in.. halfway in n out, where got good!
mdm: OH! yea lor! wan in jiu go in, wan go out jiu go out! shldnt like tat!
me & jo: -stares blankly- -pengs-

after tat they went butter fac... 牛油工厂！我也要去~ argh.. fking exams!

AGM

2009-11-25T13:54:00.003+08:00

juz came back frm medical chk up.. first time in my life i seen so many A's. nahbei i wan go pes F~ dun need serve army leh! aiya sian... hais~ smlj also A.. first time see A so no feelings -.- but in then also pes B! cox of the many sports injury i haf.. oh and the last section do those quiz.. WAH KAO! is very lame 1.. ask us do maths cannot use calculator.

yesterday was AGM. step down lor! CAN PON TRAINING LIAO LOR! LOL~ i know jin wei will surely do a better job than me! :) dun stress boss.. u still gt other 3 to help u! but i luckier~ 3 美女help me.. but u also not bad leh.. still gt miss teo help u! okay de lah~ can de.. AGM chop chop short n sweet 30mins gao dim. but gave shuang er a little surprise! cox yesterday is her bday! dun say i not good okay! i make use of my last day of authority to let whole club see bday song for u! is my 4th time to wish u liao! happy bday jo! juz be happy. :)

side note : League of Jianz outing this weekend (celebrate jo bday)
26dec st james (to be cfm-ed)

friendly

2009-11-20T09:51:00.002+08:00

went to queensway to collect the token of appreciation for NP. went to eat laksa n curry chicken! wah shiok sia damn nice! ahaha after took bus to dover. BUT THEN.. took the wrong bus.. mistaken the number. alighted at holland v n realised tat bus got go to ngee ann. my god! i am so dumb! -.- after tat wait for the same bus to go ngee ann poly again.

friendly was.. not bad!! i believed all of us has give our best shot in every match. esp junior belts, allen & yishun. allen the chee hong king wah direct switch head shot~ so zai! my godsss~ yishun went for 3 matches n did quite a good job! nt bad keep it up!

as for me? haha first match wif wei liang. at the previous exchange wif SIM spar wif him too. compared wif last time, i believed i did so much better. was able to land a couple of solid kicks on the padding.

2nd match spar wif a green belt. ermmm kind of failed.. 3rd match also failed... -.- dunno wad am i doing.. hais.

4 legs =/

my ankles really need a rest :(

eating spree

2009-11-17T00:00:00.002+08:00

KKK i know my blog is very dead due to the lack of updates.. so i juz decided to came here n do a random post~ cant help it tat my blog is so dead.. cox my life is pretty boring n peaceful..

recently is bad! VERY BAD! i been going on an eating spree.. GOSH! havent measure my weight yet cox i am too afraid to see the weighing scale keep on increasing n stop at 60+ i am so not gg to be the nxt AHT okays! NO! NEVER!!

eating spree 1 : zion road dumpling + big plate of char kuay teow + ben & jerry ice cream
eating spree 2 : mac wing upsize meal + 1/2 double cheeseburger
eating spree 3 : mac mac mac for a week
eating spree 4 : kushinbo!! OMGSS~
eating spree 5 : ice cream for 3 nights already~ ben n jerry yummy! =x

all this happen during last week n this week =.= GONNA STOP EATING LE LAH.. think is 二度发育 really is cant stop eating!! AHHHH!!!

and my sis is damn funny.. she came home after watching paranormal activitity. hahaha! n now i am slping wif her in the same room~ oh and.. i tot paranormal activity is based on real story line.. but my sis told me is fictional =.= CHEY~

my ankle is really in a bad shape~ :( think gonna see a sinseh soon. furthermore my back has been aching too.. thurs having a exchange wif ngee ann, wonder how will i fare? all way out i guess.. if nt shifu will kill me for sure. gonna bandage my ankle for tues n thurs..

think i need a hair cut le.. hmmm~ =/

halloween night

2009-11-02T15:16:00.002+08:00

day time went out wif 2 newbies.. did nth much.. lan, grab a bite & chit chat abit.. gossip here n there.. thinking of the past during sec sch.. i look at the testi for my fren.. cb full of bullshit lah -.- kns! pui~

met heng & ks ard 7 for movie - amalfi. actually i quite like the show. nt bad i will say 3/5. the storyline, twist & turn is quite good i suppose. but didnt finish n movie n went to find ahbui. went to st james but dun dare go in. cox its our first time at st james. waited for aht n other 2. in the guest list but we denied entry frm boiler or dragonfly. HAIS~ sians.. =.= wanted to try out the adult world of clubbing but denied entries not once but FOUR times.. so suck thumb go powerhouse lor. after awhile aht n robin went to fetch mdm xiuyun. they is 一去不回头 cox the re-entry q is superb long. i couldnt believe my eyes until i went out n see, at first tot is they ps us. heng n ks went off ard 1. weeteck is enjoy until dun wan go home sia.. lmao so steady for the first time. both of us den went off at 3, try to enter dragonfly. NAHBEI.. the bouncer still insist dun let us go in.. we is see not much cosplay in powerhouse. aht say boiler & dragonfly alot.. nurses.. police.. sailors.. fairies.. AHHHH! sadd-ed we is sian den we zhao~ supper n home.

nobody will ever understand my feelings

alone

2009-10-29T22:45:00.002+08:00

went sch alone cox ahtiong sick. damn~ macham emo whole day~ =.= sians to the max.. juz let this sem pass fast fast bahs! GRAD LOR~ NS LOR~ GET FKED LOR~

after sch went gym. ran 2.4km. almost died~ cui~ 11mins :( pull up 10 nias.. :( cui cui cui~ SEE LAH LIWEI! NVR ASK ME GO GYM LIAO~ =x went for 30mins jiu come out cox v sian.. AND OMFGS I SAW SOME FKER FACE WHO IS SO DAMN FAMILIAR. oh mr ahbui~ cb nvr fail to guailan me.. " eh cfm come wif some gals de riz?" wow lah gd job really is come myself -.-

CAN U ALL DUN LINK GALS WIF ME! NAHBEIS!

HOOO!! sat halloween party lor! shifu is 重出江湖！where all de fun begins!

i am a heartbreaker.

halloween @ night safari

2009-10-26T16:42:00.007+08:00

where west meets east. long tongue vamp.

k i lose. sis u gt the biggest mouth of all

morally bankrupt = poor kid

MURDER!!

night out wif 2 sis of mine to night safari for halloween celebration. first time celebrating halloween over my 18 yrs. is full of pple. luckily we bought our tix via online if not q until morning. entrance is also flooded wif pple n we couldnt find how to go in at first. after tat we asked one of the staff n managed to find another entrance. while on the way to the entrance we passed by a 'food court' the prices is omfgs de rocket high. chicken rice $17 wanton noodles $15. when we eat kopitam food $4-5 chicken rice/wanton noodles is already v exp liao yet this 'food court' in zoo de price is even more exp. wah kao really is chop robert. but surprisely i still saw a couple buying and furthermore is not ang mohs.. is chi.. maybe is ah tiongs?

frm the entrance to q-ing for the tram, we saw a couple of 'ghost'. characters r frm tin man, joker, doll (characters frm alice in the wonderland) and other various other character. one got clown sibei entu, keep on li siao-ing pple macham aiming for most hardworking ghost sia..

sat the tram n start our night journey. the tour guide is a female ghost, i was sitting at the back hence cannot really see her. but her voice damn high pitch and of cox toking in a eerie tone la.. so couldnt really listen excatly wad she is saying. but those pple really is retarded, already say no flash at least 3 times still take pic wif flash. really stuipd to the max. simply cant understand eng. wan take pic can lah off ur fking flash lah. complain too dark den go to zoo can.. alamak~really is throw face -.- k the animal part is boring to the max, almost fall asleep.

2nd part of the journey is the more fun part, we haf to pass thru an area where pple will scare us. LUCKILY i sit in the back.. so whenever gt pple scare us, in front already scream so we already know OHHHH~ sth in front.. after the tram part we went for a walk. also is scaring pple de. den after tat we zhao liao. tats all for the $35 bucks.

went to rebel BUT NVR CLUB. went to pick up my sis driver license while waiting.. wah the smell of alcohol n smoke make me abit dizzy sia.. omg~ really is cannot drink liao.. HAHAHA! and we went for supper! mac. home sweet home.... hmmm halloween party this sat??

Mr Fussy

my silly

bkk trip

21st bday

幸福就好

張惠妹-解脫

july

not over you

updates

3SG passing out parade

Happiness

Fate

single again

thor

MP

BSLC

a materialistic world

CNY

2nd wk of SCS

SCS

posting

2011

boy to man

last entry before ns

last of korea

korea trip day 3 & 4

changes

korea trip day 1 & 2

lonely friday night

final attempt

people

pissed off

5th gold

周杰伦-说了再见

雨下一整晚

你不知道的事

IT fair

of loving n letting go

bday celebration(s)

bday celebration

appeal

growing up

fate

kite flying

depress

phuket wif pics

mia

june

Sometimes love just ain't enough

最长的电影

one last emo post

sms

single

lost

alone

graduation

need a break

updates

stressed out

monday BLACK

shucks

side note

life is a bitch

bookworm

stupid

2nd week of work

misses

Enchanted Air Ways

Whataya Want From Me

Universal Studio

back to sp

IVP 2010 (ending)

IVP 2010

menopause

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Universal Studio

CNY

League of Jianz

screwed

deep and meaningless

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